tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74579259396528567152024-03-13T07:44:17.175-05:00Erika's Miracle JourneyThis is a blog about my journey through breast cancer treatment while pregnant and the subsequent effects on my life. It has been a journal more than anything: things I'd never say out loud. I try not to get too serious or depressing, but sometimes that is life. Mostly though, I try to show how God can effect positive in the midst of negative. Thank you for visiting!Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.comBlogger338125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-90059993979546868752018-10-03T12:00:00.000-05:002018-10-03T12:00:06.796-05:00Breast Cancer "Awareness"=A Broken RecordIf I see one more pink appliance or punny t-shirt slogan for Breast Cancer "Awareness" I'm going to scream. Let's be honest here...Breast Cancer "Awareness" (BCA) as it pertains to "Saving the Ta-Tas" or similar titillating (yep, I'm not above a punny), pink ribbons (and anything marketable in varying shades of pink), and cries to Walk/Run/Donate for the Cure are a broken record. Meaning nothing new or interesting is actually being done in the name of Breast Cancer Awareness. Unless you've been hiding under a rock for the past 10+ years, you're aware that women have breasts and those breasts sometimes get try to kill them. Women are ordered to do self-checks, get mammograms, and basically practice pro-active self awareness as their breast health is concerned. The thing is that most breast cancers these days are very <a href="https://www.cancer.org/cancer/breast-cancer/understanding-a-breast-cancer-diagnosis/breast-cancer-survival-rates.html" target="_blank">survivable</a>. Part of that may be the inundation of "awareness" making women more pro-active in their breast health, but it is mostly that technology and medicine finally reaching a point to fight the beast that is cancer on a whole scale level.<br />
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In these days of "Me Too", it seems like we should be less focused on breasts and more focused on the whole person. Its apparently not as fun to support awareness for the other types of cancer--Childhood, Lung, Ovarian, Testicular, Melanoma, etc. However, many of these cancers have a much higher mortality rate than breast cancer ever did. These other forms of cancer don't provide the puns or evoke the images that sell t-shirts.<br />
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Of course, the whole "awareness" machine, in my not-so-humble opinion, doesn't really play into the rate of survival--instead it is primarily a financial boon for those in the 'industry' of providing that "awareness". For instance, when I first clicked a <a href="https://donate3.cancer.org/?campaign=search&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=NB%20-%20Type%20-%20Breast%20Cancer%20-%20BMM&utm_term=%2Bbreastcancer&utm_content=28ULI8PP_dc|pcrid|76622255947860|pmt|bb|pkw|%2Bbreastcancer|slid||pgrid|4810276705|ptaid|kwd-27204288145|&msclkid=522bac85975e156dcb1bf73136a86064" target="_blank">link</a> to an article by the American Cancer Society titled "Breast Cancer: Info and Support" the page that loaded was wholly about gaining donations. There was no information, no support, just requests for money from ACS. By the time this posts, that link may very well open the page with actual information and support, but it may not. In my years as a survivor, I have found that so many organizations have their <a href="https://health.usnews.com/health-care/patient-advice/articles/2017-09-28/how-can-i-avoid-breast-cancer-charity-scams" target="_blank">hands out</a> to support Breast Cancer "Awareness" that it is impossible for them to all actually <b>*do*</b> anything to offer real support for breast cancer victims or even real research into breast cancer. <a href="http://thinkbeforeyoupink.org/" target="_blank">Other</a> breast cancer <a href="http://catholiclifeinourtimes.com/survivor-favor-dont-komen-pink/" target="_blank">survivors</a> have put together lists of things you can actually <b>*do*</b> to support those with breast cancer and to ensure that any funds you donate actually go to research and care.<br />
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As a breast cancer survivor of just over 9 years, I can tell you the support I received from the big name "Awareness" and even self-titled research organizations was zero. The support I received came from individuals stepping away from pink merchandise and giving me a hand--whether in funds, prayer, or physical help. Sure, some funding trickles into some out-of-sight research laboratory, but the majority of the funding for most of these organizations gets funneled through so many channels that the actual researcher needing funds to continue their research goes unaided and promising research may be abandoned due to lack of attention-grabbing headlines generating funding.<br />
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I've done bio-medical research. It isn't the glamour you see of pristine laboratories with multi-million dollar instruments on perfect workbenches while coiffed and made-up scientists walk about carrying clipboards right before shrieking "Eureka". Actual research is done in tiny steps in out-of-sight laboratories that often have outdated and sometimes cobbled-together equipment by frazzled and harried scientists that often go for extended periods without rest, food, or even verifiable results. There are just as many, if not more, failed experiments and research avenues that must be pursued. These hard-working scientists are the ones left out of the spotlight when Merck, Pfizer, or some other big-name produces a drug to treat cancer. These scientists have often left blood, sweat, and tears in their laboratories hoping, one day, to provide a small answer to the question of cancer. Often these scientists are even vilified by the public as 'hiding' cancer cures, being too obsessed with money to ever really cure cancer. The majority of scientists in the bio-medical field are truly in it to help people, even if it is just isolating and characterization of the bacteriophages found in raw sewage. <---that 13="" 2="" a="" after="" and="" attacked="" b="" bacteria="" bacterial="" bacteriaphages="" bacteriophages="" cause="" characterizing="" common="" definitely="" destroy="" did="" endocarditis.="" file="" found="" from="" get="" howard="" hughes="" i="" in="" institute="" into="" its="" let="" likely="" me="" medical="" most="" my="" nbsp="" not="" of="" project="" question="" raw="" report.="" research.="" research="" rich="" s="" scholar="" sewage.="" shortly="" summary="" tell="" that="" the="" turned="" undergraduate="" viruses="" was--isolating="" way="" what="" years="" you="">That </---that><br />
is the way research goes sometimes...<br />
There are great research organizations out there and there are aspects of the leaders of the "Awareness" campaigns that are fruitful, but the sad fact is that Breast Cancer has been highjacked as a money-making sob-story to fill the coffers of both fly-by-night and legitimate support organizations. Simply by advertizing breasts as being in danger, these organizations are capitalizing on the age-old adage that "sex sells". <b>Please don't buy it! </b>Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-61118241482251575352018-09-18T20:26:00.000-05:002018-09-18T20:26:13.409-05:00Long Overdue Update<div style="color: #454545; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 14pt;">Man, it's been a long time since I've written or updated my blog. Things have changed, but things have also stayed the same. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 14pt;">Rachel, my miracle baby, is closing in on 9 years of age this November. I just passed my 9 year cancer-versary in July. I've been unemployed for a long time. I'm still fighting an ever changing battle with my health, although the battle is mostly invisible. It's this last aspect that is most troubling. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 14pt;">My health is a puzzle. To the observer, I'm a healthy, normal, fit-looking 30-something woman. From my point of view, I'm s quagmire of odd symptoms, never-ending pain, and constant struggle. You see, cancer was the easy part of my journey. Chemotherapy was a cake-walk. Even the horrendous extended and numerous surgeries were nothing compared to my daily life now. My Thoracic Outlet Syndrome and nerve damage has not loosened its grip on me one iota. Instead, TOS invited its friend Chronic Migraine to visit. Like an uninvited and oblivious guest, chronic migraine has over stayed its welcome and tortures me on a daily basis. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 14pt;">Chronic migraine is a condition that baffles even specialists and neurologists. They don't know what causes it, why it happens, who it will strike, and when it will go away. All they know is that diagnostic tests are useless and medication is trial and (mostly) error. It's been years since I've woken from a nights sleep without a severe headache. These headaches are accompanied by nausea, vomiting, disorientation, numbness/tingling in my face, and my new favorite (sarcasm font needed) symptom loss of consciousness. Yes, that's right I pass out with little to no warning whether I'm actively engaged in an activity or laying down. I spend most of my days in s darkened bedroom (black out shades, doors shut, and no lights even seeping under the door cracks). When I am able to be out and about, I still wear dark sunglasses and walk a bit unsteadily. I'm not allowed by good conscience to drive since I frequently (as in daily) pass out. Even a trip to Church for Sunday Mass is often out of the realm of possibility for me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 14pt;">It's hard to live life this way. There are some days that I almost wish I could have been strong enough to refuse treatment, give Rachel life, and let the cancer take me... However, I then look at my little family of 4 and see that I'm still needed and wanted. I still school my children-Simon is 10 and in 5th grade, Rachel is 8 and in 4th grade. My husband, Andrew, still works on cars and needs me as his 'Dumbo feather'. This year he and I will have been married for 11 years! We've made it through things that some couples never see and we still love each other and stick together. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 14pt;">Rachel and I have been lucky enough to have a benefactor that bought us a horse to enjoy (more on this story at a later date). Rachel couldn't have a regular horse because of her life-threatening allergy to horses, but loves them very much. So I researched and found that American Bashkir Curly Horses are hypoallergenic. And, since horses are like potato chips in that you can't have just one, we now have a second Curly to keep our first company. Rachel is doing wonderfully learning to ride her horse, appropriately named Faith. I can only cautiously ride for a few minutes to demonstrate something for her, but those few moments are moments of true freedom and joy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: '.SFUIText'; font-size: 14pt;">All in all, even though life is still full of lemons, I'm learning to make lemonade, lemon tarts, lemon meringue, basically anything out of the lemons life hands me. </span></div>
Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-73037235165247015302016-04-27T01:39:00.001-05:002016-04-27T01:39:38.880-05:00What Do You Do With Gift Lemons?<div>There are some days that just don't end well. Today was one of those days. You see, I've been struggling since 2009 with the 'gifts' breast cancer gave me...</div><div><br></div><div>Initially, it was the cancer itself, diagnosed while I was pregnant. That was trouble in and of itself. However, with wonderful family, community, and prayerful support around the world, I overcame the scourge of BRCA1 breast cancer while pregnant through chemo during and after my successful pregnancy. It was difficult, but as the saying goes, "if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger." </div><div><br></div><div>Fortuitously, the strength I gained from that battle helped me in my next battle - the battle in my work-place. I've tried not to mention the struggles I had there too much in public for my own protection, but suffice it to say that my superiors were not thrilled that one of the '<i>gifts'</i> cancer gave me -- life-long nerve damage and Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. Prior to my cancer diagnosis, I received written commendations for outstanding work from both inside and outside my workplace. However, after my diagnosis, treatment, return to work, and subsequent search for relief of the 'gifts' from cancer my superiors began to complain of my sometimes sporadic attendance - even though it was covered by FMLA and/or doctor's notes. Technically, my work was on the same level as before. I know this because in that line of work, every report undergoes peer and administrative review prior to completion. There is also a Technical Leader, a person that ensures compliance with written protocols and proficiency testing. For about 3 years I did everything in my power to maintain my job and my integrity. Yet, when the time came, it didn't matter what *<b>I</b>* knew, but what my superiors <i>wrote</i> and believed. So I was terminated with black marks on an otherwise spotless record. </div><div><br></div><div>During this struggle with work, I was also fighting on another front -- one of physical pain and frustration of not knowing what caused the pain. After I healed from my mastectomy, my chest wall, collar bones, neck, shoulders, and arms ached all the time. Those areas felt like I had lead weights pulling them down all the time. On worse days, I had shooting pain from my neck down my arms and into my chest. Sometimes the pain would get so bad I would be unable to move my head, neck, and arms or even take a deep breath. On those days, Andrew would have to help me dress and/or wash my hair. Days like that would bring me to tears and a defeated state of mind. I went from doctor to doctor trying to find relief. Different doctors had different diagnosises and treatments. Finally, on a trip back to Houston, in the Supportive Care Unit, one of the doctor's got me on the right track. However, even then, it wasn't a simple fix. In fact, I'm still struggling with the same root issues, nerve damage and Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, and issues that are aggravated by it today 4 years later. </div><div><br></div><div>Back to today ending poorly... I've been going through old paperwork that dredged up all these memories. I found the mountains of paperwork about my diagnosis. There are the skyscrapers of paperwork that are even more depressing about my workplace struggle. I still feel the same mixture of fear, dread, betrayal, and humiliation from the way I was treated there. I'm sorting through all this paperwork for something that may or may not be beneficial. Yet, right now, all this walking down memory lane reminds me of the bad things I've lived through. </div><div><br></div><div>In a way, though, it's also a reminder of the little <i><b>miracles</b></i> in life. Rachel is a <i>healthy</i> 6 year old getting ready to enter the <i>2nd grade </i>in our homeschool! I just re-read the reports of the 1.7cm mass that was present in ultrasound immediately after Rachel's birth, but <i>disappeared</i> thanks to prayers around the world by the time I got a PET scan a week later! I'm still <i>cancer-free</i> as of my check up last week! Without my income, we still have our home and food in our bellies even though times are tough. Since I no longer have the added stress of work, some of my symptoms have gotten better. So, I guess, today hasn't ended that poorly after all. I just need to make lemonade instead of sucking on lemons. </div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-4ptDHyquIHU/VyBep8zVuZI/AAAAAAAABMg/T63e0dFdmPM/s640/blogger-image--212849644.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-4ptDHyquIHU/VyBep8zVuZI/AAAAAAAABMg/T63e0dFdmPM/s640/blogger-image--212849644.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-75051833987984629652016-04-11T22:59:00.001-05:002016-04-12T09:39:38.605-05:00Belated #FMF: WholeWhat does it take to feel whole again? For every woman it's different. Heck, for some women the answer varies by the moment. However, a big part of the journey through cancer is beginning to feel whole again. If you're like I was, you chose to go whole 'hog' and remove as many of the body parts that were trying to kill you that you could possibly live without... For me that meant both breasts, both ovaries, both tubes, and my uterus. <div><br></div><div>Is not obvious to anyone that I'm missing those internal organs that made me the life-giver in my relationship. However, I know they're missing and my doctor can surely tell you that they're missing too. The most noticeable ones are of course breasts. They're difficult to reconstruct on some women-me for instance-for reasons that are difficult to enumerate. However, are they really necessary to feel whole? Many women choose not to have their breast reconstructed. They'll you that they still feel very whole because it is more about the support you receive and how you feel about yourself. </div><div><br></div><div>Stop.</div><div><br></div><div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I'm a little late joining the party, but some bloggers around the blogosphere are participating in "Five-Minute Fridays" #FMF with an assigned topic and the titled 5-minute timeline. Since I can't ever do anything on time, I'm running behind, but I plan on trying to participate in this link-up party. <span style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://katemotaung.com/" style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">FMF writers at Kate Motaung's blog</a></span><span style="text-align: center;">. What a fun way to challenge your writing!</span></span></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></div></div><div style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-FE7nG2ziRWA/Vw0ILzdWyuI/AAAAAAAABME/5SsXFvgXbWI/s640/blogger-image--514537169.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-FE7nG2ziRWA/Vw0ILzdWyuI/AAAAAAAABME/5SsXFvgXbWI/s640/blogger-image--514537169.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-44426291671042540062015-10-26T07:30:00.000-05:002015-10-26T07:30:02.120-05:00My Little Curly Breast Cancer AwarenessMy oncologist was proud of me this month when I had my 6 year check-up. I'm all clear for the next 6 months! In celebration of that as well as to commemorate both this Breast Cancer Awareness month and my new endeavor of creating illustrations, I created this...<br />
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Over on my new blog, <a href="http://www.benedictcatholic.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Benedict Catholic Creations</a>, you can find more My Little Curly coloring pages. You can even <a href="mailto:erikav@me.com" target="_blank">contact me</a> for requests. I intend to offer the almost 60 illustrations I have in this series as individual pages as well as in coloring book (ebook) format. They're available as JPEG files, but I will soon make them available as PDFs. For now I have a few available for free here, on my mommy blog, and on my Creations blog. </div>
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In addition to the My Little Curly series created for Rachel, I've illustrated a Catholic First Holy Communion book with another woman named Erika, drawn many wheeled vehicles for my Simon, and just started a series of flowers. I use my creations as a focal point for some of the handwriting pages my children use in their schooling and also plan on authoring a book (or more) featuring the My Little Curly series. I plan on offering all of them on my Creation blog eventually. I'm hoping to use this to supplement our income since we're still financially strapped since my job loss in 2013. </div>
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If you like this Curly, like the sound of my other creations, or would just like to contact me for something else, please do so! I love hearing from you!</div>
Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-47962010225256578782015-07-16T08:00:00.000-05:002015-07-16T08:00:04.466-05:00Say What?!?! That's Been Proven Safe for Decades!<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Today I ran across two articles that left me flabbergasted and incised. <a href="https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/new-cancer-treatment-during-pregnancy-can-save-both-mother-and-baby" target="_blank">One</a> reports that giving chemotherapy to pregnant cancer patients is a novel and unheard of idea in the scientific community. Perhaps that is the case in Belgium, where this study originates, but MD Anderson has been doing it since 1992 with GREAT results. That flabbergasted me. I mean it's not as if that same site didn't do a <a href="https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/a-thanksgiving-gift-mother-with-aggressive-cancer-gives-birth-to-healthy-ba" target="_blank">story</a> on a 28 year old woman diagnosed with breast cancer while 20 weeks pregnant... You know... Erika's Miracle Journey? Sometimes I wonder if the editors read their own sites. I guess it's easy for articles to get lost given the volume of articles they publish.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">However, at least this isn't dangerously misleading. Although the comments... Whew... There are some times when I should just stay away from the comments sections. I'm not usually overly sensitive, but when people suggest I should have just 'changed my diet' or had better 'nutrition' and my cancer would have magically disappeared and I wouldn't have 'risked' my baby (who is 5 years old, going into 1st grade, reading, writing, and has bypassed all her age milestones) by doing dangerous chemotherapy I get a bit upset. Sorry, but 5 generations of women in my family with only the last 2 surviving doesn't seem like diet or nutrition played a big part since we span continents and centuries. If anything - especially to the 'natural' folks, the last 2 generations should be the ones that didn't survive since we have GMO foods, less healthy eating habits, higher BMIs, antibiotics, etc that the previous generations didn't have. Apparently, that comment author must subscribe the same philosophy as the next blog post... </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Another <a href="http://www.naturalnews.com/033418_pregnant_women_chemotherapy.html" target="_blank">blog</a> post trying to appear scientific completely discounted real science and medicine for 'natural' care and accused women seeking chemotherapy while pregnant of unnecessarily and flagrantly risking their unborn babies lives. That <b>incised</b> me! Of course chemotherapy attacks rapidly growing cells - that's what cancer is. However, what this blogger fails to realize is that while a baby is obviously rapidly growing, a baby is also protected by the placenta. The placenta is a many splendored thing. One of its greatest feats is to act as a filter between mother and baby. Only molecules of a certain size can pass through the placenta. Chemotherapy drugs tend to be large complex molecules - especially those used in pregnant women. These molecules can pass through the placenta about as well as a large rectangular block fits through a pin hole - NOT very well. While those in the natural camp profess to believe that nature has provided all the remedies we need, they tend to forget that one of the greatest of all of nature's designs is the mother's body. Women are designed to compensate, even to their own detriment, for their baby's health. We are built to protect the baby from harm and does a very good job - my earlier example of the placenta is one example. Another example is that a woman's body will pull calcium from her own bones to give to the baby if she doesn't get enough in her diet. Even a woman with hyperemesis gravida (extreme morning sickness) can have very healthy babies because of God's wonderful design of a mother's body. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">While the first article does no real harm, this article can undoubtably cause many women to lose their lives or lose their children to abortion or both mother and child may <i>die</i>. Had I not sought <b>REAL</b> science instead of pseudo science like this, it is quite possible that my daughter and I wouldn't be alive today. In general, I have nothing against natural remedies and a healthy lifestyle as opposed to constant running to the doctor all the time, I will <i>NEVER</i> support pseudo-science/medicine like this that basically sentences mothers and their children to death. It is false information like this that leads to people believing that abortion is necessary 'for the life of the mother'. Lies like these need to be exposed before more lives are lost. <i>Please be sure to tell every one you can that being pregnant when diagnosed with cancer is NOT a death sentence for either the mother or the baby - BOTH CAN and SHOULD LIVE!</i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Here's an <a href="http://www.mdanderson.org/newsroom/news-releases/2010/ut-md-anderson-study-finds-women-treated-for-breast-cancer-while-pregnant-have-improved-survival.html" target="_blank">article</a> from MD Anderson that gives a brief overview of the history, success, and safety of chemotherapy while pregnant. </span>Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-15699933771440712022015-07-07T21:31:00.001-05:002015-07-07T23:52:43.882-05:00Cancer: Not a Death Sentence or a Horoscope<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Today was my 6-year cancer-versary. I can still feel the terror I felt as the surgeon began my incisional biopsy. Vividly, I recall the surgeon asking for more numbing medicine since I was still flinching as he used a laser to cauterize the wound. That's right, I was awake the whole time, as was my 20 week old in utero baby girl as she flipped and twisted with my anxiety. Thankfully, Rachel, that in utero baby, has no memories of that day. Now, as 34 year old survivor, mother of two, wife, and daughter, I remember that day as the start of a journey that forever changed my life, but didn't defeat me.</span></div>
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I always found it vaguely amusing in a morbid kind of way that my birthday fell in the astrological sign of Cancer. Astrology and horoscopes aren't in my German practical nature, so I never really investigated what the sign of Cancer meant. Incidentally, I think my practicality fits not only into my heritage as well as my astrology. Yet, the coincidence of my family history with cancer as well as my astrological sign of cancer is morbidly amusing. </div>
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So many people think of cancer either as a death sentence or merely as an astrological sign. Others may not think of it as a death sentence, but as a political or social statement/cause. At this point in my life, I use my miracle journey to help other women and families not only survive, but thrive with their diagnosis while pregnant. I also guide others as newly diagnosed or caregivers to MD Anderson so they have better opportunities for life. So cancer is not just a death sentence or an astrological sign, but an opportunity to survive and thrive! </div>
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Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-75612449577348401122014-11-24T07:10:00.000-06:002014-11-24T07:10:00.528-06:00Here I SitHere I am, a 5 year survivor. Outwardly, I look as healthy as the proverbial horse. Inwardly, I wish I were healthy enough to go outside to work like a horse or even to play with a horse. Instead, I'm trapped inside bearing my cross that breast cancer left me... inexpiable, unpredictable, insurmountable bouts of pain shooting through my left arm and neck extending into my head and chest. Sleeping becomes my only refuge, but even it is tainted by the pain and must be supplemented with medications and ice packs. At least<a href="http://www.catholic.com/magazine/articles/a-pope%E2%80%99s-answer-to-the-problem-of-pain" target="_blank"> my Faith</a> gives me the option of offering up my pain for the poor souls in purgatory and for those here on Earth in need of prayers. Otherwise, my pain would serve no purpose.<br />
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Perhaps that is why people turn towards "options" like the <i>Hemlock Society</i> as recently departed brain <a href="https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/i-am-a-catholic-seminarian.-i-have-terminal-brain-cancer.-this-is-my-respon" target="_blank">cancer/suicide Brittany</a>. If you have no reason to believe your pain adds anything to your life or anyone else's life, whether here on Earth or in the next Life, then why would you prolong your suffering? Yet, anyone who reads and believes the Bible and Jesus' words should know and find comfort in affliction. St Paul took comfort in his affliction. In fact, there are some stories indicating that some early Christians ran almost too willingly to <a href="http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09736b.htm" target="_blank">martyrdom </a>in their efforts to take up their crosses and follow Christ to death (I can't find the source where I read that, sorry).<br />
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However, even if without a belief in the redemptive nature of suffering, there is always good left in life. Even Stephen Hawking, according to the recent movie about his life, <i>The Theory of Everything, </i>says "Where there's life, there's hope." Hawking is an ardent atheist and supporter of "assisted suicide" -- even though he could easily have been euthanized (had his life support removed) by his first wife 28 years ago according to the laws at the time and the ones he <b>still</b> supports. However, the quotation from the movie (that I've only seen via the trailers on TV) is an apt one for this type of discussion. Life <b>is</b> hope. Without life there is no hope. With my Catholic Faith, I know that with my Life, even as much as I dislike it sometimes, there is a purpose for the bad that benefits others or even myself. Therefore, even a miserable life has hope both in this world and in the next.<br />
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So, there, I turned my pity party into a pep-talk. How about that? Now for some random cuteness from my kiddos. They obviously have both Life and Hope in abundance!<br />
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Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-31378003741755428782014-10-04T20:36:00.001-05:002014-11-23T16:42:40.803-06:0010 Things You Can Do for Breast Cancer Victims/Survivors<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Don't Pink for me... In other words, don't purchase commercialized pink items for me as a breast cancer survivor. Here's a list of things that will really make a difference for breast (and all cancer and/or disease) victims. The reason I know how these things help is that is that I had wonderful people go above and beyond for me during my journey. </span></div>
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1. <b>Pray for us</b>. It sounds so simple. Almost like a cop-out. Unless you're the person who experience a <a href="http://designsbybirgit.blogspot.com/2014/01/cancer-st-peregrine-novena-and-miracle.html" target="_blank">miracle </a>due only to prayer. Unless you're the person who struggles daily to put a good 'face' on, and feels lifted up by prayer. Pray. Pray daily. Pray by name. Pray in general. Pray for a cure. Just <i>PRAY</i>!</div>
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2. <b>Tell us you're thinking of us.</b> Again, it sounds so simple. Maybe you're not a spiritual person. However, those of us that are believe that your thoughts can be 'read' by God. So if you keep us in your thoughts, God can lift us up out of our struggle. Just knowing that someone cares is <i>enough</i> to continue the struggle. </div>
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3. <b>Visit us. </b>Another simplistic request, but one that makes <i>so</i> much of a difference. Even in this day and age, some people seem to think cancer is contagious. It's not Ebola, but it can be just as deadly and just as terrible. However, you cannot 'catch' cancer from visiting someone with cancer. Many cancer patients are so tired from treatments, that their daily/weekly (or whatever frequency) doctors appointments are draining. It's easy to feel as if the only thing you are doing is fighting your disease, but the fighting is killing you as much as the disease. Yet, when someone cares enough to come by and visit, it, often even the sickest patient can cheer up (even if only on the 'inside') because they know someone cares. </div>
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4. <b>Bring us a meal or snack. </b>Drop it off by a patient's home or even the cancer center where they get treatments or go for check-ups. If you aren't sure what would be a good things to bring, call the cancer center to ask. Many cancer centers keep snacks in the chemo rooms - cookies, hard candies, crackers, etc. Call to ask what seems to be best tolerated and bring it by. If you know a patient (or know of a patient) call them or someone close to them to ask what their preferences and tolerances. It doesn't have to be home-made or elaborate, just offering is best.</div>
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5. <b>Send a card or note to us.</b> This is another simple thing that, in our digital age, is often forgotten. Receiving mail just seems to be a <i>pleasure</i> to most people (good stuff, not junk ;-). A get-well card or a thoughtfully penned note can lift the patient's day. Additionally, if they keep them (I've kept most of mine), even years later, they can feel the love and care from a simple note. Trust me, it's the best thing on a bad day. </div>
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6. <b>Offer us some financial assistance.</b> Cancer treatment is expensive - even with good insurance coverage. If the patient (or care-giver) works outside the home, there a many lost days of work and extra expenses that drain an already decreased pay-check. Surprise cash is <i>always</i> a day brightener. Anonymous cash, gift cards, etc can mean a patient has something to look forward to using. Sometimes, you may even be the reason the patient can afford to go to their next appointment. It doesn't have to be a large sum, even $5 can make a person feel like they're rich. </div>
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7. <b>Offer to drive us to an appointment.</b> If the patient is comfortable, you could even offer to go into their appointment with them. Many cancer centers request, almost demand, that all patients have a support person with them for all appointments, tests, and treatments. Not only is this good for when the patient feels ill or gets bad news, it is also good for more than one set of ears to hear what is discussed. You'd be amazed by the information given to patients who aren't necessarily in the frame of mind to listen and remember.<i> Chemo-brain</i> is a true disorder that affects some people's memory during and even long-term after chemotherapy. Even if a person with chemo-brain repeats the information given to them at the doctor's office, they may not remember it 30 minutes later. Also, we all seem to catch just a little bit different drift during the same conversations. Sometimes what you hear is more important than what the patient will hear. </div>
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8. <b>Offer child-care to us.</b> It's difficult to find a good and trusted babysitter these days. However, it seems more and more young people with young families are being struck by this disease. It may be do-able to bring youngsters to appointments and treatments, but for an already sick and tired person, the youngsters can be the straw that broke the camel's back. Plus, cancer treatments and appointments never seem to be the quick in-and-out visits you hope for. Doctors are called away, they order more tests, the patient feels worse and has to rest, etc. </div>
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9. <b>Offer a service to us</b>. It can be a house-cleaning, an oil change, a manicure, a facial, etc. Cancer patients are people too, but often the treatments make them tired, ill, and just run-down. It's easy to tell someone they look great when they're bald from chemo and retaining fluid from steroids, but few of us believe you. We know we look different and feel different - most often for the worse. One of the best programs I attended as a patient was the local ACS's 'Look Good, Feel Better' evening. As a non-girly-girl, I almost skipped it, but I was feeling ugly - being bald and pregnant... I still use tricks given to me that evening to do my make-up when I'm sick, tired, and even just going out on the town. </div>
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10. <b>Participate in a fund-raiser for us.</b> Many cancer patients need extra money in order to receive treatment. Friends, relatives, and even strangers often organize fund-raisers to generate financial support and to serve as a reminder to the patient that people care. Some people sell barbecue (we're <i>big</i> on BBQ here in KY), some have a fair-type festival (I did & it was <i>fabulous</i>), others sell raffle tickets, t-shirts, whatever. Offer to lend a hand organizing donations, selling whatever needs selling, and/or buy or donate to the cause. It may just be a $5 do-dad for you, but it ends up supporting the patient and family when combined with others. </div>
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While I was also deeply touched by people walking in the walk-a-thon in my name, or the t-shirts with the provocative slogans supporting breast health, the things on my list made the biggest impact on my life as a patient. I still wear some of those t-shirts and I still feel loved thinking someone walked in my name, the things that truly helped me get through my journey are enumerated in my list. </div>
Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-49895339655278689562014-09-10T21:10:00.001-05:002014-11-23T16:43:31.450-06:00Alphabet Soup (Genetic Mutations), Vaccines, and Cancer<div>
I<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">'m in conflict right now with my children's pediatrician. Basically, my children were "fired" as patients because I decline the Chicken Pox vaccine. Apparently, both children are also one booster behind on their MMR (although I did not decline that). Before I blindly accepted the threat of losing the pediatrician, I had to be sure of the facts. So I began looking into components in the Chicken Pox vaccine (and others). Through Children of God for Life (http://www.cogforlife.org/vaccineListOrigFormat.pdf) I found that both the MMR and Chicken Pox vaccine are created using aborted baby cells and/or embryonic stem cells. I also found that one of the primary drivers for developing and promoting the Chicken Pox vaccine is convenience. Apparently parents can't take off work long enough to care for their itchy and scratchy children. However, my children's vaccination woes aren't huge topic of this post. My specific mutations (that I know of), vaccines, and cancer are the topic. </span></div>
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While searching for information to give to a friend about her children's vaccinations, I came across some interesting information. Apparently one of my mutations, MTHFR, can increase my already increased risk of breast cancer (thanks to My BRCA1 mutation). In addition to this twice increased risk of breast cancer, vaccinations can increase the MTHFR mutation's negative effects (http://cebp.aacrjournals.org/content/17/10/2565.full) I'm not certain which variant of the MTHFR mutation I have. Since it was discovered as a potential cause for my 4 miscarriages out of 6 pregnancies, I do know I have problems from it. </div>
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This mutation creates problems in carriers after vaccinations. Vaccines have heavy metals as carriers in them. Usually, the body can easily eliminate these heavy metals through the normal function of the MTHFR gene (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methylenetetrahydrofolate_reductase). However, defective MTHFR genes do not effectively eliminate these heavy metals, causing them to build up to toxic levels in the body. Additionally, the MTHFR gene is responsible for methylation or de-methylation of folic acid to its biologically active form-folate. When defective, methylation and/or de-methylation causes either a deficiency or an excess of various chemicals in the body. These chemicals, when built up and not effectively processed can lead to decreased immunity and increased susceptibility to various problems. </div>
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<a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-0J-4PFCPSfg/VBEFUdE1tcI/AAAAAAAAA9k/GRYoQ7ogDzM/s640/blogger-image--735464023.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-0J-4PFCPSfg/VBEFUdE1tcI/AAAAAAAAA9k/GRYoQ7ogDzM/s200/blogger-image--735464023.jpg" width="200" /></a>Some indicate vaccinations (http://vactruth.com/2011/12/30/3-filthy-truths-about-vaccines-cancer/) and problems from the heavy metals (http://www.naturalnews.com/030211_heavy_metals_cancer.html) and foreign material can also increase risk of breast cancer in all people, but most noticeably those with a BRCA1/2 mutation. Since BRCA1/2 are genes that code for a particular tumor suppressor gene in the breasts (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/BRCA1), carriers have an increased risk of breast cancer. Adding the increased levels of heavy metals, excess or deficiencies of folic acid/folate, to an already increased risk of breast cancer may just explain why I was diagnosed with breast cancer a full 20 years before my own mother. Even my youngest known relative with "female" cancer was a full 14 years older than I was at diagnosis. Along with other environmental factors yet unknown (although many implicate GMOs, processed foods, pollution, deodorants, and other seemingly random factors) and increased vaccinations (with their heavy metals and other foreign materials), these two mutations and their effect on the body my risk of cancer was probably closer to tripled than the average person. Yet, rare would be the doctor (of any sort) that would put all this together and actually say it out loud to a patient. </div>
<br />Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-27695310038692564262014-08-09T15:29:00.001-05:002014-08-09T15:29:52.913-05:00It Works Product Reviews In my last post I shared that I was sampling two of the products from It Works. My first experience was with the body applicator "wrap". I have "wings" or "dog ears" left over from my last reconstruction that poke out near my hips. They are unsightly and a constant reminder of my body's betrayal. I applied the body applicator wrap around my back covering each 'wing'. I left it on for longer than the recommended 45 minutes because I'm a hard-headed-determined-to-use-up-every-drop-of-product kind of gal (cheap). Here is my before photo and the after photo with hand-y pointers showing my 'wings' in both photos. <div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-beewQ7oTc9c/U-aEvt4XG3I/AAAAAAAAA80/wD-IE2WNHf4/s640/blogger-image-1111080296.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-beewQ7oTc9c/U-aEvt4XG3I/AAAAAAAAA80/wD-IE2WNHf4/s640/blogger-image-1111080296.jpg"></a>Pretty amazing isn't it?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">The second product I tried was the Lip and Eye Gel I've been looking so forward to using. I have dark circles under my eyes regardless of amount of sleep I get at night. They're genetic - practically everyone in my family has them. My husband, in his loving way, calls them my raccoon eyes. I've tried all kinds of different products to at least minimize them: concealers, foundation, under eye creams from various brands, essential oils, etc. Never any real results came from repeated applications. This herbal-based gel was applied over a mineral powder in the parking lot after a meeting in town. It took me about 30 minutes to drive home and get my husband to take an after photo. That's it! Below you'll see the that eye on the left is the before and the one on the right is the after. Again, I used my hand-y pointers to show my problem areas. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-pLzgAK2_CDc/U-aEuQKEHVI/AAAAAAAAA8s/gJVaqiPiRA8/s640/blogger-image-349725914.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-pLzgAK2_CDc/U-aEuQKEHVI/AAAAAAAAA8s/gJVaqiPiRA8/s640/blogger-image-349725914.jpg"></a> Amazing!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">These are seriously my before and after photos. Each photo was taken at a different time and with the eye photos in a different location. The only altering was the color balance and cropping to show only the applicable area. No smoothing, no cloning, nothing was done to alter the appearance of the photos. These are really photos taken using either an iPhone or my iPad and any balancing or cropping was done on my iPad. Genuine change brought about in a ridiculously short time - nothing else!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Let me know if you'd be interested in some change of your own! If you have issues that are different, ask me if there is a product that can help you - chances are It Works has what you need! Comment here, send me an email (erikav@me.com), or visit my webpage (www.biologybrain.myitworks.com). End of sales pitch!</div><br></div><br></div>Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-9798479664043270012014-07-29T23:42:00.001-05:002014-11-23T16:44:47.001-06:00New Endeavor: It Works Product Introductions<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Ever since I was terminated from my job, we've been struggling financially. A friend of I mine read of our financial problems and suggested I sell <b><i>It Works</i></b> products like she does. Well, I took the plunge. <a href="http://www.biologybrain.myitworks.com/" target="_blank">I'm hoping perhaps some of my readers will too.</a></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I tried the crazy wrap thing for myself. Literally overnight I noticed improvement of my trouble spots - 'wings' left over from my reconstruction surgery. Amazing! The only way to get rid of these 'wings', I thought, was to have more surgery (revision plastic surgery). For a cosmetic problem, I wasn't willing to spend the money or pain. Now with these crazy wraps, I don't have to worry about further surgery. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">There are many different products - not just wraps. All the products are herbal based without complex named chemicals. On <a href="http://www.biologybrain.myitworks.com/" target="_blank">my webpage through It Works</a>, you can access each product's ingredients list, how much is in each serving and how much/if it is part of your Daily Value. Pricing depends on your commitment to purchasing. If you're willing to commit to 3 consecutive months of product (each month can be a different product), then you are a <b>Loyal Customer</b> (LC) and get heavy discounts. Retail customers don't get the same discounts but still get the same products. If you sign up to become a <b>Distributor</b> you get free products that you can use yourself, give away, or sell. Additionally, you make commissions off of the products your LCs and retail customers buy. When you get other Distributors signed up, you earn commissions off of their commissions and some really great monetary rewards. The success stories of this company are phenomenal. I'm hoping to be one of them!</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Ultimate Body Applicator </i>(4 applications LC $59; retail $99)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Defining Gel Body Contouring Gel </i>(LC $45; retail $75)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Fab Wrap </i>(82 feet<i> </i>LC/retail $7)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I've also been drinking Greens. In each serving is 8 servings of fruits/veggies, the antioxidant effect of 20 cartons of blueberries, probiotics, and pH balancing goodness. Each serving is also an energy boost without any harmful caffeine or other chemical energizers. There are two flavors available: orange and berry. There are several different options for Greens:<i> </i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>30 serving jar</i> (LC $33; retail $55), </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>90 serving jar</i> (LC $79; retail $139), </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>30 single serving on-the-go packets</i> (LC $35; retail $59), and </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>60 Chews</i> (LC $30; retail $50). </span></div>
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<b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Skin</b></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">There are several skincare products as well. The <i>Lip and Eye Moisturizing Cream Gel</i> (LC $29; retail $49) in my next order. This product smooths skin tone and lessens the look of wrinkles, bags, and puffiness. One thing I struggle with is my constant dark circles under my eyes. It's genetics combined with allergies, and not helped my erratic sleep cycles. I have high hopes for this cream.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">There other products I haven't tried or investigated yet, but sound wonderful. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Facial: Deep Hydration Mask</i> (4 applications LC $59; retail $99)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Cleanser: Facial Cleanser Gel </i>(LC $33; retail $55)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Toner: pH Balancing Mist </i>(LC $33; retail $55)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Stretch Mark: Moisturizing Body Cream</i> (LC $39; retail $65)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Hair Skin and Nails: Nourishing Complex</i> (60 tablets LC $33; retail $55)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Preventage: Day Cream Gel </i>(LC $25; retail $45)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Repairage: Night Cream Gel </i>(LC $29; retail $49)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span></div>
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<b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Lifestyle</b></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">There are many different tablets available for weight loss, colon health, revitalizing, healthy joints, anti stress, multivitamin, bone health, essential fatty acids, nutrition, weight loss energy, and even a menopausal support. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Advanced Fat Fighter with Carb Inhibitors </i>(60 tablets LC $23; retail $39)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Ultimate Thermofit: Thermogenic Weight Loss Formula </i>(60 tablets LC $39; retail $65)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Regular: Support for Colon Health </i>(60 capsules LC $27; retail $45)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>It's Vital Core Nutrition: Cutting Edge Multivitamin</i> (90 tablets LC $29; retail $49)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>New You: Body Revitalizing </i><i>Formula</i> (90 tablets LC $49; retail $89)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Relief: Support for Healthy Joint Function</i> (60 tablets LC $29; retail $49)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Confianza: Anti-Stress Formula</i> (60 tablets LC $25; retail $45)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>It's Vital Minerals: Support for Bone </i><i>Health</i> (60 tablets LC $23; retail $39)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>It's Vital Omega-3: Essential Fatty Acids</i> (30 soft-gel capsules LC $23; retail $39)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Ultimate Profit: Advanced Superfood Nutrition</i> (vanilla or chocolate powder LC $69; retail $115)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>It's Essential: Weight Loss Energy Bar</i> (dark chocolate berry flavor LC $25; retail $45)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Estrorhythm: Support for Menopausal Symptoms </i>(30-day supply LC $79; retail $139)</span></div>
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<b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Packs</b></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">We all know that sometimes things are meant to be used in conjunction with other things. Well, these packs put various products together in a way that maximizes effectiveness. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>It's Vital Complete Nutrition Pack: Core Nutrition, Minerals, and Omega-3s </i>(30 packets LC $60; retail $115)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Wrap Pack: 4 Ultimate Body Applicators and mini Defining Gel </i>(LC $69; retail $115)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Skinny Pack: 4 Ultimate Body Applicators, Defining Gel, and Advanced Formula Fat Fighter </i>(LC $112; retail $189)</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>It Pack: 4 Ultimate Body Applicators, Defining Gel, Facial, Lip and Eye, and Greens on the Go </i>(LC $179; retail $299)</span></div>
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Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-403877173324937222014-07-19T15:55:00.001-05:002014-07-19T19:18:50.107-05:00Another Life-Affirming Cancer While Pregnant Story<div>I am <b>always</b> happy when there is another article discussing cancer while pregnant and that abortion is not an option. When I was diagnosed in 2009, I'd <i>never</i> heard of any one having cancer while pregnant. If I'd strained my brain, I probably could have speculated that it happened, but it was not something on the my radar. I think that's true of most people -- cancer happens and women get pregnant, but those are separate entities. So any awareness of cancer while pregnant is <i>good</i>. Awareness of treatment choices for cancer while pregnant being <i>better</i> than abortion is <b>excellent</b>. </div><div><br></div><div>Awareness does not always lead to the broadcast of correct medical information about all the viable options - surgery, chemotherapy, or surveillance until the natural end of pregnancy. Many articles give hero status to women who refuse any treatment (including abortion) during pregnancy. It is obviously an <i>excellent</i> decision to continue the pregnancy despite a cancer diagnosis. However, the awareness of chemotherapy's safety while pregnant suffers when pregnant women are quoted as refusing chemotherapy due to its '<i>risk</i>' to the baby. Obviously, these women <b>are</b> <b>brave</b> for continuing the pregnancy and they <b>are also brave</b> for making the decision to wait until after their baby's birth to begin treatment. I have <i>no issue</i> with women who choose this option. It is <i>equally</i> brave and heroic to continue the pregnancy while choosing to receive chemotherapy. My issue stems from the implied or blatant dismissal of this latter choice. </div><div><br></div><div>Statements like, </div><div><i><br></i></div><div><i>"chemo is safe during pregnancy but “any time you place chemicals into your body you are placing your child at risk and even possible miscarriage.”"</i> (From this article: <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">http://www.lifenews.com/2014/07/18/mother-pregnant-with-her-10th-child-refuses-cancer-treatment-and-abortion/ )</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">are misleading at best and derogatory at worst. Many people will completely miss the admission that chemotherapy <b><i>is safe</i> </b>during pregnancy due to the wording of the rest of the statement. These people will only remember that this woman was a brave hero for refusing to '<i>risk</i>' her baby's life to save her own. They'll take her <b>opinion* </b>that chemicals (chemotherapy) increase the risk of miscarriage and other harm to heart. This particular woman had surgery while pregnant -- most likely with chemicals (sedatives and anesthetics) given during the operation -- apparently without problem or risk of her child. Little or no thought will be given to the <b>actual medical facts</b> of chemotherapy while pregnant. That lack of thought can be <i>dangerous</i> and <i>discouraging</i> for women who choose chemotherapy while pregnant based on their doctor's advice and their situation. </span></div><div><br></div><div>Every pregnancy is most vulnerable during the first trimester. Women have a higher risk of miscarriage in the first trimester. Once the second trimester begins, the miscarriage risk decreases significantly and continues to decrease as pregnancy progresses. The risk of birth defects is also most significant in the first trimester. Most of the vital forming of the baby happens in the first trimester - differentiating a single cell into various organs and putting all body parts in the right anatomical place. Various chemicals, whether in abundance (alcohol) or not enough (folic acid), can create life-long errors in formation during this trimester. For that reason, to my knowledge, chemotherapy will only be initiated <i>after</i> the vulnerable first trimester of pregnancy. </div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-RRSj_8hvcdI/U8rbJ9JxMsI/AAAAAAAAA5w/2V3ewU9Rz08/s640/blogger-image--1914415684.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-RRSj_8hvcdI/U8rbJ9JxMsI/AAAAAAAAA5w/2V3ewU9Rz08/s640/blogger-image--1914415684.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div><br></div><div>I was pretty high risk for miscarriage without addition problems (I miscarried 4 times prior to my last pregnancy), but when I was given the option of chemotherapy while pregnant, I was reassured that doing so would <i>not increase</i> my risk. Both my Oncologist and the Maternal-Fetal OB were asked a <b>bazillion questions</b> about that aspect intentionally. An increased likelihood of early contractions were one of the biggest 'risks' associated with chemotherapy during pregnancy according to the Maternal-Fetal OB that I saw in Houston, TX. She actually didn't bring it up until I told her I'd been noticing contractions ever since my diagnosis. However, she again assured me that <b>a</b>) any time you stress a pregnant woman she's likely to have contractions and <b>b</b>) those contractions are rarely 'productive' and therefore not a true risk to the baby. All other risks during chemotherapy pregnancy were <i>similar</i> whether chemotherapy was used or not. My increased risk of miscarriage remained whether I had chemotherapy or not.</div><div><br></div><div>I ran into people online and in real life that told me I made a selfish decision to have chemo while I was pregnant based on this thought. It made my reality even <i>more difficul</i>t as people questioned my respect and love for my unborn baby. In fact, at one point I had (a few) someone(s) baldly tell me that my decision was <b>*not* </b>pro-life or even Catholic based on their perceived risk(s) posed to the unborn child during chemotherapy. To them, it did not matter that I had an <i>oncologist who specialized</i> <i>in pregnant patients receiving chemotherapy.</i> Her reassurances and research in this area was dismissed based on their ignorance and perception of what was<i> 'healthy' </i>for me and my unborn child. My referral to a Maternal-Fetal OB specialist and her advice was also dismissed. Constant monitoring, measuring, and visualizations ordered by this specialist amounted to nothing in the eyes of my detractors. Life-long respect for life, adherence to the teachings of the Catholic Church, and my own bio-medical education meant nothing to these detractors as they were obviously more pro-life and Catholic than I. I could go on and on, but suffice it to say that while I knew I'd made the best decision for me and my baby, these words of detraction resulted in <i>increased fear, stress, doubts, depression, and anxiety</i>. These derogatory words were probably <b>more detrimental </b>to my pregnancy than the actual chemotherapy was. </div><div><br></div><div>I'm all for <i>awareness</i> of cancer while pregnant and chemotherapy while pregnant. While I hate that women face such struggles, I'm always happy to read an article giving the true life-affirming options of continuing the pregnancy with or without chemotherapy. Such articles will hopefully educate people about this devastating situation and give these women hope for their baby's and their own lives. However, I am saddened when opting for chemotherapy while pregnant is indirectly implied to be as bad a choice as abortion. <i>Nothing</i> could be further from the truth. While everyone is entitled to their opinions, it is crucial that medical realities aren't supplanted by emotional opinions. A devastating cancer diagnosis while pregnant is difficult and stressful enough without adding further confusion to the matter based on erroneous opinions. Let everyone know that a diagnosis of cancer while pregnant <b>isn't a death sentence</b> to either the woman or her child - both can live through chemotherapy, surgery, or the natural end of pregnancy. </div><div><br></div><div><i>Moral of the story:</i> Abortion is <b>*never*</b> in the baby's best interest. Cancer during pregnancy <b>can be survived</b> by both. Viable options include <i>chemotherapy, surgery, and surveillance </i>until the natural end of pregnancy. Mother and baby <b>can survive and thrive</b> despite a cancer diagnosis regardless of which of these treatment options is chosen. </div><div><br></div><div><i><b>*</b>I am in no means trying to denigrate this woman for her opinion or choice. Nor am I trying to lay guilt on her doorstep for her choice or opinion. She is a brave and heroic woman for resisting the oft-repeated option of aborting her child. I give her great kudos for that decision alone. I also give her and her family my prayers as they continue through this struggle. She has as my full sympathy and support during this time of difficulty. May God bless her and keep her healthy. </i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><b>Medical and Media References to Chemotherapy During Pregnancy</b></div><div><b><br></b></div><div><a href="http://breastcancer.theoncologist.com/article/case-control-study-women-treated-chemotherapy-breast-cancer-during-pregnancy-compared" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">http://breastcancer.theoncologist.com/article/case-control-study-women-treated-chemotherapy-breast-cancer-during-pregnancy-compared</a> - I'm more than likely included in the number of pregnant women treated with chemotherapy in this journal article by my Breast Oncologist, JK Litton. This one also shows that there is improved outcomes in pregnant patients verses non-pregnant patients.</div><div><b><br></b></div><div><a href="http://www2.mdanderson.org/depts/oncolog/articles/11/10-oct/10-11-1.html">http://www2.mdanderson.org/depts/oncolog/articles/11/10-oct/10-11-1.html</a> - My Breast Oncologist at MD Anderson is in this one too.</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://connection.asco.org/magazine/article/id/2857/active-cancer-treatment-during-pregnancytwo-perspectives-on-timing-and-drug-choice.aspx">http://connection.asco.org/magazine/article/id/2857/active-cancer-treatment-during-pregnancytwo-perspectives-on-timing-and-drug-choice.aspx</a> - Another article by my Breast Oncologist. The second half of the 'debate' on this page, to me, displays someone desperate to find an excuse to worry. Note the large number of references used by my Breast Oncologist verses the solitary reference used by her 'opponent'. </div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2753540/">http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2753540/</a> - Another article by my Breast Oncologist in full text presentation.</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.mdanderson.org/transcripts/Breast_Cancer_and_Pregnancy_Transcript.html">http://www.mdanderson.org/transcripts/Breast_Cancer_and_Pregnancy_Transcript.html</a> - Another interview with my Breast Oncologist. This is a terrible transcript with numerous typos, but the gist is the same as the others.</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.news-medical.net/news/20120822/Chemotherapy-during-pregnancy-an-interview-with-Professor-Sibylle-Loibl.aspx" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">http://www.news-medical.net/news/20120822/Chemotherapy-during-pregnancy-an-interview-with-Professor-Sibylle-Loibl.aspx</a> - The doctor interviewed here said that she hopes no more "unnecessary terminations" are carried out on pregnant women with cancer. </div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/05/16/pregnant.with.cancer/index.html">http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/05/16/pregnant.with.cancer/index.html</a> - Another one with my Breast Oncologist in it.</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.breastcancer.org/tips/fert_preg_adopt/bc_pregnancy/treatment">http://www.breastcancer.org/tips/fert_preg_adopt/bc_pregnancy/treatment</a></div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.mothertobaby.org/files/chemotherapy.pdf">http://www.mothertobaby.org/files/chemotherapy.pdf</a></div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.medpagetoday.com/HematologyOncology/BreastCancer/34229">http://www.medpagetoday.com/HematologyOncology/BreastCancer/34229</a></div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanonc/article/PIIS1470-2045(11)70363-1/abstract">http://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanonc/article/PIIS1470-2045(11)70363-1/abstract</a></div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Health/CancerPreventionAndTreatment/pregnant-cancer-tough-choices-hope/story?id=15547310&from=related">http://abcnews.go.com/Health/CancerPreventionAndTreatment/pregnant-cancer-tough-choices-hope/story?id=15547310&from=related</a></div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Health/chemotherapy-pregnancy-complications-study/story?id=17014354">http://abcnews.go.com/Health/chemotherapy-pregnancy-complications-study/story?id=17014354</a></div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20101213/chemo-during-pregnancy-ok">http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20101213/chemo-during-pregnancy-ok</a></div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.cancer.org/cancer/breastcancer/detailedguide/breast-cancer-treating-during-pregnancy">http://www.cancer.org/cancer/breastcancer/detailedguide/breast-cancer-treating-during-pregnancy</a></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><a href="http://www.ascopost.com/issues/may-15,-2014/cancer-chemotherapy-use-during-pregnancy.aspx">http://www.ascopost.com/issues/may-15,-2014/cancer-chemotherapy-use-during-pregnancy.aspx</a></div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.oncolink.org/experts/article.cfm?c=23&id=2407">http://www.oncolink.org/experts/article.cfm?c=23&id=2407</a></div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.pbs.org/newshour/rundown/chemotherapy-during-pregnancy-yes-its-possible/">http://www.pbs.org/newshour/rundown/chemotherapy-during-pregnancy-yes-its-possible/</a></div>Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-36800460202428326572014-01-29T17:22:00.001-06:002014-04-11T21:44:59.079-05:00A Miracle Journey: Bald, Pregnant, and Living<div class="article-content sc jpibfi_container" data-role="content" style="border: 0px; clear: both; margin: 0px 40px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
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<i style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">NOTE: This is my story in a nutshell... I am currently almost 5 years cancer-free and Rachel is a wonderful healthy 4 year old little girl. I still struggle quite often with the ramifications of the whirlwind that was my breast cancer. However, I continue to KNOW, deep in my heart, that I would not change even ONE decision I made to rid me of my cancer. I know I chose the best route for my baby girl and myself. In that I am confident.</span></i></h4>
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The diagnosis</h3>
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<a href="http://www.catholicsistas.com/2012/10/09/lady-ribbons-entry-into-our-lives-2/" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black;"><img alt="" class="wp-image-12054 ov-done" data-jpibfi-indexer="0" src="http://www.catholicsistas.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/my-logo1-285x300(pp_w171_h180).jpg" height="180" scale="0" style="-webkit-touch-callout: none; -webkit-user-select: none; border-bottom-left-radius: 0px; border-bottom-right-radius: 0px; border-top-left-radius: 0px; border-top-right-radius: 0px; border: 0px solid rgb(255, 255, 255); font-style: inherit; margin: 1px 0px 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" title="my-logo1-285x300" width="171" /></span></a><br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Click this photo, my hand-drawn logo, to see more of my story.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>“You have breast cancer,”</i> the surgeon deadpanned. I glanced at my husband and then my mom, and waited for the punch-line. It never came — the doctor was deadly serious. He had just performed a biopsy (that amounted to a lumpectomy) with me wide awake and all-too-aware of the hole dug into my left arm-pit/breast area to remove the 2.5 cm tumor. The lack of anesthetic was due to my other condition: I was 20 weeks pregnant with my 6th, but only 2nd live, child (the other 4 pregnancies ended at various stages as miscarriages). I was only 28 years old — 20 years younger than my mother at her diagnosis (October of 2005) -- on that July 7th of 2009.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The shock</span></h3>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The surgeon who performed my biopsy/lumpectomy looked so bleak. He did not have any real options to give me. His lack of options was only repeated by the local oncologist, my ob/gyn, and my internist. The options shown to me and implied by these members of the medical profession were twofold: try to live myself by aborting my child OR risk dying from the cancer by allowing my child to live. My ob/gyn and internist knew me well enough to know that the first option <b>wasn’t</b> really an option at all. So we set out to find an alternative.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I was shocked and dismayed (that’s an <i>ENORMOUS </i>understatement) at my local doctors options, so I turned to the WWW. I searched the Susan G. Komen site*. I searched the American Cancer Society site*. I did meta-searches. </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-style: inherit;">Almost all gave me the same options: abort my little girl then seek treatment or let my little girl live and possibly die myself. That was </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>UNACCEPTABLE </i></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-style: inherit;">and </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>ABHORENT </i></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-style: inherit;">to me.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The port in a storm</span></h3>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Luckily, my mother had been to MD Anderson in Houston, TX for her breast cancer in 2005. She had my doctor send a referral request down there. Less than 10 days after my diagnosis (6 days after ultrasound confirmed that my unborn child was a girl), I was in Houston meeting Dr. L, a breast oncologist at MD Anderson. I was a trifecta for her — her specialities are 1) Young women with breast cancer (check), 2) BRCA1 mutations (check), and (most importantly) 3) Breast cancer treatment of pregnant women (check). I had tests performed during that week in TX that would have taken MONTHS to schedule locally. </span><i>I had more expert opinions than I knew were possible! Most of all I had HOPE!!</i></div>
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<img alt="" class="alignleft ov-done" data-jpibfi-indexer="1" src="http://www.catholicsistas.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/delivery-room-family.jpg" height="161" scale="0" style="-webkit-touch-callout: none; -webkit-user-select: none; border-bottom-left-radius: 0px; border-bottom-right-radius: 0px; border-top-left-radius: 0px; border-top-right-radius: 0px; border: 0px solid rgb(255, 255, 255); display: inline !important; float: left !important; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 30px 15px 0px !important; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" width="214" /></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The plan</span></h3>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">As I returned home, I was still frightened, but at least I had a plan. What a plan it was! It began with chemotherapy while maintaining my pregnancy. My first dose found me in the hospital for 3 days just as a precaution. Three times following that I carried a small pump with chemotherapy in it with me for 3 days. Chemotherapy was discontinued after 4 rounds to let me build up for the climax - the delivery of Rachel Eleonore on Thanksgiving Day (her daddy’s birthday as well as her exact due date). A little more than a month later, I began 4 rounds of a different combination of chemotherapy drugs. Rachel was not even 3 months old before I had the first of my surgeries - a modified radical mastectomy with immediate expander implant reconstruction. At that point, I was cancer-free and Rachel was alive and growing quickly.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The deepest cuts</span></h3>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">A little more than a year following my diagnosis I had a bilateral salping-oophorectomy (tubes and ovaries removed). However, that surgery threw a huge monkey wrench into my life due to excessive blood loss during surgery and an abscess removed a month after surgery along with my uterus. My implant exchange surgery happened almost exactly a year after my mastectomy. Yet, due to constant pain I had to have yet another reconstructive surgery this time using my belly fat to form breasts, called DIEP reconstruction surgery. After a long struggle, even this last reconstruction was unable to eliminate the almost constant pain. The cause of my pain was diagnosed to be Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. Physical therapy and body awareness usually alleviates the problem, but not for me. I went under the knife again to have my left first rib removed to give my nerves and blood vessels more room to move. All told, I had 8 surgeries including my biopsy for diagnosis and installation of my port for chemotherapy.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The survival</span></h3>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I have made it thus far carried by the prayers of family, friends, and even complete strangers around the world. This has been my chance to shoulder my cross and lead the way through a trial. To date, both my children have been in the local Walk for Life every year of their lives, including in the womb. I was a spectacle in September of 2009 when I walked bald and very pregnant (I was due in November) to the half-way point. In a way, I thank God for the opportunity, although at other times I ask God why He thinks I’m strong enough. Yet, through His grace, I am here and I stand strong with my wonderful daughter (and her older brother and their father) to be a vivid example of respecting life. </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">There have been <b>many </b>bumps in the road, but I have </span><span style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><i>NEVER</i></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i> </i>once regretted the decision to keep my precious baby girl who will be turning 5 in November of 2014. <i>Her survival was not a surprise, but a blessing.</i></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The statistics</span></h3>
<div style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 1.2em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Sadly, I am no longer capable of bringing more children into this world. As a precautionary action, I had my ovaries and uterus removed since BRCA1 increases the risk of ovarian cancer by approximately 40-60%. In my mind, given my young age at breast cancer diagnosis, a young age of ovarian cancer was probably in my future. In addition, my maternal grandmother suffered alternating bouts with breast, then ovarian, then breast again for the last 5 years of her life. However, my inability to carry children in my womb has strengthened my resolve to help other women know that they <span style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">can</span>. I am a vocal advocate of the pro-life movement. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I am also very vocal about the details of my story. Statistics tell us that <a href="http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/treatment/breast-cancer-and-pregnancy/Patient/page1#Keypoint2" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">1 in 3000 – 3500 women </a>diagnosed with breast cancer will be pregnant. To me, that means that the more I spread the word that women <span style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">and their baby </span>can live through the cancer, the more lives will be saved. I have recently personally heard about a woman who had brain tumors that received chemo and radiation while pregnant, again with <span style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">no effect</span> on the child.</span></div>
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<img alt="" class="alignright ov-done" data-jpibfi-indexer="2" src="http://www.catholicsistas.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/surprise-lily-Aug-11-300x223.jpg" height="223" scale="0" style="-webkit-touch-callout: none; -webkit-user-select: none; border-bottom-left-radius: 0px; border-bottom-right-radius: 0px; border-top-left-radius: 0px; border-top-right-radius: 0px; border: 0px solid rgb(255, 255, 255); display: inline !important; float: right !important; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 15px 30px !important; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" width="300" /></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The moral</span></h3>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">To me, the moral of my story is that being pro-life is <b>not </b>a death sentence for a pregnant woman or her unborn child with a horrible disease like cancer. It is <b>entirely possible</b> to overcome numerous diseases and have a happy healthy baby in the process. Many cite “life of the mother” as a reason for abortion. Well, I’m here to say that many of the times “life of the mother” is cited, abortion is <span style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">not </span>in the woman’s best interest. As a matter of fact research has shown that pregnant women with cancer who keep their baby have a <span style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">BETTER</span> survival rate than their counterparts who abort. That is scientific <span style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">fact</span> that should be proclaimed from the housetops. Regardless, abortion is <span style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">definitely not </span><i><span style="border: 0px; font-weight: 700; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">EVER</span> </i>in the baby’s best interest!</span></div>
<div class="wp-caption alignright" id="attachment_8736" style="border: 0px; display: inline !important; float: right !important; font-style: inherit; height: auto; margin: 0px 0px 15px 30px !important; max-width: 100%; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 160px;">
<a href="http://www.catholicsistas.com/2012/10/09/lady-ribbons-entry-into-our-lives-2/" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black;"><img alt="" class="size-full wp-image-8736 ov-done" data-jpibfi-indexer="3" src="http://www.catholicsistas.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Lady-Pro-Life-Ribbon.jpg" height="150" scale="0" style="-webkit-touch-callout: none; -webkit-user-select: none; border-bottom-left-radius: 0px; border-bottom-right-radius: 0px; border-top-left-radius: 0px; border-top-right-radius: 0px; border: 0px solid rgb(255, 255, 255); font-style: inherit; margin: 1px 0px 10px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" title="Lady Pro-Life Ribbon" width="150" /></span></a><br />
<div class="wp-caption-text" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 1.2em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: start; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Pro-Life Lady Ribbon</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You can also read about the development of the <a href="http://www.catholicsistas.com/2012/10/09/lady-ribbons-entry-into-our-lives-2/" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Lady Ribbon</a>, a pro-life, pro-woman, breast cancer awareness symbol.</span></div>
</div>
Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-62554935276389465172014-01-22T21:54:00.001-06:002014-01-22T21:54:23.572-06:0041st Annual March for Life 2014<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">The sorrowful news about abortion, beyond the death of an unborn child, is the harm it causes women. As many as 45% of some Suicide Hotlines are women in deep grief for the disposal of their babies. Their grief, guilt, and regret can lead to 'less' severe consequences like depression, low self esteem, PTSD, anxiety, and perhaps worst of all, distance from God. God can and will forgive these women of their sin, if they only ask. However, society lies to them - saying there is no need for forgiveness or any negative feelings regarding their abortion. </p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 15px;"><br></p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">Abortion advocates do a much deeper damage to women than physically harming them during the actual abortion. The lies promoted by abortion advocates belittle the negative feelings many women have later about their abortions. Without proper support or recognition, these walking wounded women become bitter, disillusioned, and forced to support abortion or else feel they are condemning themselves. Many times these women publicly say they feel no negative feelings about their abortion. Yet, if they were truly to examine their conscience, mind, heart, and soul - the deep wound of their abortion colors their whole lives. </p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 15px;"><br></p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">As pro-lifers we must not only express our concern for the millions of babies destroyed, but also express concern for the mothers (and families) that 'chose' that option. Even if the woman denies any negative feelings, it is quite likely that she just can't or won't acknowledge it. Abortion is murder and baldly stating that truth can be unimaginably painful for post-abortive women (whether they admit it or not). The abortionists are the ones that commit this murder, while the mother is complicit and a co-conspirator. However, once she asks God for His forgiveness (if Catholic in the Sacrament of Reconciliation), in His infinite mercy, He forgives her. </p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 15px;"><br></p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">It is our job as pro-lifers to pray for these women's hearts to change, encourage women to seek this forgiveness, and offer support for their continued healing. On this evening of the 41st March for Life, let us join in prayer for those who marched, those who prayed, those who participated in huge Twitter-fest, and all of those who's hearts and minds were on the subject. </p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-bIJrDjmX20E/UuCSbJ7yqxI/AAAAAAAAA4s/WDW9Su7wTT8/s640/blogger-image--494490499.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-bIJrDjmX20E/UuCSbJ7yqxI/AAAAAAAAA4s/WDW9Su7wTT8/s640/blogger-image--494490499.jpg"></a></div><br><p></p>Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-34074996429947868082014-01-09T21:21:00.001-06:002014-01-09T21:21:45.049-06:00Guard yourself Against Gardasil<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">I'm on the fence about vaccines. However, the HPV vaccine (Gardasil) is definitely one vaccine I'm 100% against. Reading the things the developer of the vaccine has published cements my position. I did my own research & found that Gardasil only 'protects' against 4 strains of HPV that may (research hasn't proven cause and effect yet) cause cervical cancer. Additionally, routine PAP smears have proven more effective at catching and preventing fatalities than the vaccine could. Neither of my children will be receiving this vaccine!</p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">Diane Harper - one of the developers of Gardasil - on its effectiveness and what it means for our children: <a href="http://southweb.org/lifewise/the-lead-vaccine-developer-comes-clean-so-she-can-sleep-at-night-gardasil-and-cervarix-dont-work-are-dangerous-and-werent-tested/">http://southweb.org/lifewise/the-lead-vaccine-developer-comes-clean-so-she-can-sleep-at-night-gardasil-and-cervarix-dont-work-are-dangerous-and-werent-tested/</a></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">Diane Harper - one of the developers of Gardasil: <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/news/gardasil-researcher-speaks-out/" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px;">http://www.cbsnews.com/news/gardasil-researcher-speaks-out/</a></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">Dr John LaPook - medical corespondent for CBS News on Gardasil: <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/news/is-the-hpv-vaccine-safe/" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px;">http://www.cbsnews.com/news/is-the-hpv-vaccine-safe/</a></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">There are many more articles dealing in the science behind the failures or over statements of Gardasil. Foremost, even above these I listed is that the strains of HPV Gardasil purportedly protects against are STDs. Morality can and will protect my children from STDs not some 'miracle' vaccine. </p>Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-12123114649012497192014-01-07T20:46:00.001-06:002014-01-09T14:52:39.121-06:00St. Peregrine Novena for Cancer Patients: Day 1-9Dear holy servant of God, St. Peregrine, we pray today for healing.<br />
<br />
Intercede for us! God healed you of cancer and others were healed by your prayers. Please pray for...<br />
<br />
*Holly & Jennifer (&/or your own intentions)<br />
<br />
These intentions bring us to our knees seeking your intercession for healing.<br />
<br />
We are humbled by our physical limitations and ailments. We are so weak and so powerless. We are completely dependent upon God. And so, we ask that you pray for us...<br />
<br />
Pray for us, that we will not let sickness bring us to despair.<br />
<br />
We know, St. Peregrine, that you are a powerful intercessor because your life was completely given to God. We know that in as much as you pray for our healing, you are praying even more for our salvation.<br />
<br />
A life of holiness like yours is more important than a life free of suffering and disease. Pray for our healing, but pray even more that we might come as close to Our Lord as you are.<br />
<br />
All Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be.<br />
<br />
Amen<br />
<br />
*The two ladies' names I mention are friends of mine currently struggling with their own cancer journeys. There are several other people I know afflicted with cancer, and I'm sure you know some of your own. For those I don't list, please don't take it as a sign of me ignoring your need for prayers. I have a faulty memory and although I may not list your name specifically, I do remember you in my prayers because I know God has your name written on His hand.<br />
<br />
The prayer is the same for each day of the 9 days. So please say the prayer daily.Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-47410807304620984572014-01-04T00:04:00.001-06:002014-01-04T00:04:47.737-06:00Miraculous Healing or Lifelong Witness...<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">This is an awesome story. </p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=210087239178856&set=a.171704916350422.1073741828.171688403018740&type=1">https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=210087239178856&set=a.171704916350422.1073741828.171688403018740&type=1</a></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><font color="#ff0000"><u><br></u></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><font color="#ff0000"><u><br></u></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">In a way, I wish my cancer had been so quickly and easily cured. In other ways, I know that my journey served <i>more</i> of a purpose than just saving me or even Rachel. I firmly believe that in sharing my story, other women and their unborn babies <u>will share a life together</u> that would have been <i>impossible</i> otherwise. This is why I share my story so freely and often. I <b>don't</b> want accolades - I <b>don't</b> deserve them because <i>I just did what I had to </i>morally, physically, and psychologically. I just want to <b>save</b> even just one woman the horror of having to choose between her own life or her unborn baby's. If even <b><i>one</i></b> child lives, <b>all</b> the grief I've experienced since July 7, 2009 has been a <i>very</i> <b><i>small</i></b> price to pay. <font color="#ff0000"><u><br></u></font><a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=210087239178856&set=a.171704916350422.1073741828.171688403018740&type=1"></a></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-qa2NDkFMD2U/Useke1y4v6I/AAAAAAAAA4c/RIJm5nrySaM/s640/blogger-image-1798603838.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-qa2NDkFMD2U/Useke1y4v6I/AAAAAAAAA4c/RIJm5nrySaM/s640/blogger-image-1798603838.jpg"></a></div><p></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">God bless all women in this situation, their unborn children, and their families. </p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p>Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-60733252745869088772013-05-16T04:02:00.000-05:002013-05-16T04:02:00.493-05:00When Prophylactic Doesn' Mean Immoral<div id="dE_H" style=";width:100%; height:100%; ;"><br><a id="lnkimgfa74d9d6-a964-47de-a56e-e243f2df6266" target="_self" href=""><img id="imgfa74d9d6-a964-47de-a56e-e243f2df6266" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-FfOnV0zAgio/UZRakcwuFkI/AAAAAAAAA28/S-QowzrFE8g/%25255BUNSET%25255D.jpg" style="height: 400px; width: 180px; opacity: 1; margin: 1em; float: left; " class=""></a><br>Recently, Angelina Joli made a big splash in entertainment news as she wrote about her prophylactic bilateral mastectomy. She and I share family history of relatively young women being stricken with this beast to the point of death. Luckily for her, she was able to act pre-emptively instead of finding herself in an oncologist's office hearing the dreaded "You have cancer". In addition to sharing a family history, we also share a mutation in our BRCA1 genes that makes us at least 85% more likely to develop the dreaded disease. Our mothers were also both diagnosed as relatively young women (my mother was 48, Joli's mother was in her 50s I think). My mother survived, while Joli's succumbed to the disease. Other breast cancer survivors in the entertainment industry have come out with their stories as well, but Joli's struck closer to home for me for some reason. Perhaps it's the BRCA1 connection or perhaps it's that I now have more time to think about what's going on in the world. For whatever reason, I am exquisitely aware of the controversy her decision has sparked. In my expanded world of social networking sites, I have many devout Catholics and Christians that I respect and have supported me throughout my trial. However, instances like Joli's announcement sometime reveal more about how people view the decisions I made as a result of my diagnosis. <div><br></div><div>You see, while I was diagnosed with an active cancer, it was self contained and only on my left side. In other words, the excisional biopsy for diagnosis could have been the final surgery for my cancer. After all, the tumor was removed in its entirety and chances were good it had not spread to my lymph nodes. Yet, due to my genetic predisposition and more than a little bit of fear, I not only chose to remove my entire left breast, but also my healthy right breast and both ovaries (since BRCA1 increases the risk of ovarian cancer by 40%). In the medical community of MD Anderson, there was no real discussion of only having a lumpectomy. It was mentioned as a possibility, but for very different circumstances. My thoughts were to similar to the tongue-in-cheek slogan, "Yes, they're fake, but my real breasts were trying to kill me." During the acute phase of my treatment I was very active in a community of other women genetically predisposed to breast cancer. Some of them, like Joli, chose to remove their breasts before they could become diseased. I must admit that the stories of women as young as 20 having this major surgery shocked me, but not as much as the women who chose a simple lumpectomy or only alternative treatment for their disease. I couldn't imagine having this sometimes fatal disease, but not throwing every treatment possible at it. The risk of reoccurrence for BRCA1 breast (and most of the other genetic forms of breast cancer) are significant. Yet, as a contemplative and respectful person, I recognized that this decision was very personal and must not be taken for granted.</div><div><br></div><div>In light of Joli's announcement, some expressed their belief that her decision was too drastic. It was speculated that changes in diet, full-term pregnancies at a relatively early age, breast feeding, and other lifestyle choices were sufficient. One even commented that Joli's decision displayed a lack of faith in God and too much in science. Again, while my situation differed from Joli's, I couldn't help but apply these sentiments to my decision. My full-term pregnancies were in my mid-twenties, but were both preceded with two miscarriages each. As my readers know, my sixth pregnancy preceded my diagnosis by only 20 weeks. Additionally, I have never been a huge fan of red meat, but enjoy broccoli and other foods known to be good for decreasing risk. Simon, my oldest, nursed for a year, only stopping when he chose, on his first birthday. None of those choices had prevented my cancer at 28, so I've since found that while these choices won't hurt, they obviously don't guarantee the absence of breast cancer. </div><div><br></div><div>Prior to this major decision (my oophorectomy), I spent a lot of time in prayer and conversation with trusted Catholic priests, doctors, and theologians in addition to scouring scientific journals. Respected and learned doctors recommended oophorectomy between the ages of 35 and 40, several years away for me, but conceded that in my situation (my young age and pregnancy at diagnosis and the concerning factor of my miscarriages & gynecological issues), the choice was with merit. <span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Deciding to sacrifice my ovaries also obviously sacrificed my fertility, even though I had wanted at least one more child. Conversely, removing my ovaries would also eliminate my suffering with severe endometriosis and poly-cystic ovarian syndrome.</span><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "> </span>Because of these secondary issues, I consulted the Pope Paul VI Institute's Dr. Hilgers to determine if he'd found, through NaPRo Technology and his Creighton Model research, any bio-markers to detect ovarian cancer through charting. After all these prayers, conversations, and research, I made my choice to have the oophorectomy. </div><div><br></div><div>While I am comfortable and at peace with my decisions, a small part of me is wounded when those I respect indicate my choices were extreme or a matter of placing more trust in science than in God. Sometimes I also suffer from baby envy as my friends excitedly tell the world of their pregnancies. Other times, when it is assumed there are better alternatives--especially from people who've not faced my situation--that I didn't investigate, I feel as if I've been slapped. Most people are ignorant of not only the horror of realizing you have cancer, facing chemotherapy and surgery, and the constant anxiety of a recurrence. Those that are compassionate, after hearing my reasoning and the statistic behind my choice, concede that in my position they likely would have made the same choice. Many are immediately swayed by my explanation that I chose to reduce my risk through removal of 'healthy' organs, not out of fear of death, but to live for my children. These are the people who do not hurt me by their opinions because they are mature and compassionate enough to realize how much thought, research, and prayer went into the decision. Yet, there are some who steadfastly refuse to be compassionate and insist, even in my situation, they would not make this "sinful" decision. Unchristian is not often a term I apply to others, but it seems applicable. I think these people are confusing prophylactic surgery with prophylactics (condoms and diaphragms). The former, and only the former, are considered moral. As a matter of fact, I'm hard pressed to find any Catholic moral theologian who disagrees with prophylactic surgeries to prevent cancer--even if fertility is sacrificed. With this in mind, I pray for those misguided souls, not simply because they hurt my feelings, but for God to preserve them from being faced with the same decision I was. Perhaps one day, God will grant science a less invasive means to prevent cancer, but until then, I trust Him to guide those who ask into the right approach for them.</div><div><br></div><div>Here are some resources to learn more about BRCA1 and BRCA2 Breast and Ovarian Cancers.</div><div>MD Anderson research slide show - <a href="http://www.mdanderson.org/education-and-research/departments-programs-and-labs/programs-centers-institutes/blanton-davis-ocrp/noah-kauff-hereditary-ovarian-cancer.pdf">http://www.mdanderson.org/education-and-research/departments-programs-and-labs/programs-centers-institutes/blanton-davis-ocrp/noah-kauff-hereditary-ovarian-cancer.pdf</a></div><div>National Cancer Institute Hereditary Breast and Ovarian Cancer facts - <a href="http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/genetics/breast-and-ovarian/healthprofessional">http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/genetics/breast-and-ovarian/healthprofessional</a></div><div>Aetna Health Insurance Policy information - <a href="http://www.aetna.com/cpb/medical/data/200_299/0227.html">http://www.aetna.com/cpb/medical/data/200_299/0227.html</a></div><div>MedScape information (my doctor, Jennifer Litton) is quoted - <a href="http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/589280">http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/589280</a></div><div>Journal of Clinical Oncology article on Risk Reduction in BRCA1/2 - <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2815712/">http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2815712/</a></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div>Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-68515976288787751502013-01-22T12:00:00.000-06:002013-01-22T12:00:10.337-06:00What Do You Mean By Choice<div id="dE_H" style=";width:100%; height:100%; ;"><img id="img5ef5b1ec-3343-4ff5-b8bc-dad5986f9f19" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-cKe8mF7D2iE/UP4tKFoMvlI/AAAAAAAAA0k/Zupbldp6nHI/%25255BUNSET%25255D.jpg" style="height:212px;width:95px;opacity:1;margin:1em;float:left;left:107px;top:166px" class="" mvc="false"><br><div>For the first time ever, I'm going to Washington DC for the annual March for Life! I'm <b><i>so very excited</i></b> to join in this heroic event aimed at protecting the most vulnerable of those among us: the unborn! I plan on being bundled up, but still wearing my Catholic Pink ribbon wear. It is disheartening that the scourge of abortion has been promulgated and protected by legislation for 40 years. However, I will be a part of the historic crowd witnessing the ever-present protest of this ghastly "choice". <br><div><br></div><div>Because of the scourge of abortion, for me the word "choice" has become taboo. Every time I hear it as part of an ad on television or radio, I'm cringe. Sometimes I wonder if there's a reason the word "choice" is featured so prominently in the ads I hear--especially those aimed at any healthcare product or service. Obviously, the word choice is not really taboo. However, it is also not a good descriptor for those willing to slaughter innocent babies for any reason. </div><div><br></div><div>Of course, now, even the most Pro-Choice group of all, Planned Parenthood, is slowly stepping away from their use of the word "choice". Their new ad campaign features cartoonish feet marching hither and yon while asking us (the viewers) to not "box her in" and to "step into her shoes". I wonder if our blog questions of "What do you mean by choice?" Had any effect on the discarding of their oft-used word "choice". Although, I think the real reason probably lies in the fact that the pro-abortion magnates are simply trying to tug our heart-strings by making us walk in their figurative woman's shoes. </div><div><br></div><div>Of course, by doing so, they're ignoring the fact that many many many women (and men) who are adamantly pro-life <b><i>have</i></b> been in their poster-woman's shoes and either made the choice for life and realized the merit or had an abortion and now regrets their "choice". I know many women in both situations and even count myself among them. That's why the pro-abortion crowd uses misleading or even down-right untrue propaganda to cloud the true issue. The true issue isn't about informed and empowered "choice"; their goal is to snag vulnerable women with their "support" and "choice" of abortion without presenting <b>all</b> the facts. If presenting true "choices" were the pro-abortion people's intended goal, they would not <i>fight</i> so hard <i>against</i> parental notification, waiting periods, viewing ultrasounds, face-to-face consultations prior to the procedure, and other neutral bills aimed at educating women about their pregnancy. Once again, the rhetoric spouted against these neutral (and often common standard of care protocols: parental notification, ultrasounds, and face-to-face consultations) pluck at naive heartstrings and outright lie about the truth. <a id="lnkimg68f56aa8-e510-4643-b440-3125cbb7106a" target="_self" href="http://www.jillstanek.com/2013/01/tomorrow-ask-them-what-they-mean-by-choice-day/"><img id="img68f56aa8-e510-4643-b440-3125cbb7106a" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-73hkKic9iTA/UP4tL28-ezI/AAAAAAAAA0s/StdQmRPRAdo/%25255BUNSET%25255D.jpg" style="height:256px;width:205px;opacity:1;margin:1em;float:right;left:162px;top:188px" class="" mvc="false"></a></div><div><br></div><div>At every turn, the pro-abortion people obfuscate, disassemble, and flagrantly omit women's real "choices" when in a "crisis" pregnancy. Having been pregnant 6 times in 3 years, I know that when that positive indicator appears on that test-stick, thousands of insecurities, fears, and confusions overwhelm the system. Throughout the 9 months, sometimes irrational thoughts and behaviors manifest themselves. Popular culture, particularly from parties involved--even indirectly--with abortion or contraception, encourages these negative aspects of the blessing of new life to make it seem like more of a curse. How can presenting only the negatives of an option be empowering or even fair? In other words, the only "choice" favored by pro-abortion people is abortion. That's why we ask each year, "What do you mean by choice?"</div><div><br></div><div><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 15px; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><a href="http://www.jillstanek.com/2013/01/tomorrow-ask-them-what-they-mean-by-choice-day/" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="link" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0">http://www.jillstanek.com/2013/01/tomorrow-ask-them-what-they-mean-by-choice-day/</a></span></div><br></div></div>Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-23569575915626755992012-10-29T17:26:00.000-05:002012-10-29T17:26:48.900-05:00Three Long Years Ago...<br />
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What a difference three years makes. This time three years ago I was <a href="http://www.catholicsistas.com/2012/10/29/bald-pregnant-and-living-2/" target="_blank">bald, pregnant, and living with breast cancer treatments</a>. For Halloween, I painted my 8-month belly as a turkey in honor of the due date of my baby girl. That year's Thanksgiving was especially well observed by my family and friends as we welcomed my baby girl, celebrated her daddy's birthday, were amazed at our survival of a breast cancer diagnosis at 20 weeks pregnant, as well as enjoyed usual Thanksgiving traditions.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xKx10CQe67M/UI75NXA-q6I/AAAAAAAAAzs/9o9XSRDKkuY/s1600/Life+Award.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xKx10CQe67M/UI75NXA-q6I/AAAAAAAAAzs/9o9XSRDKkuY/s200/Life+Award.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8CACWX_uOq8/UI74_NKzxnI/AAAAAAAAAzk/ssSzgRLm6cM/s1600/DSCN1439.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8CACWX_uOq8/UI74_NKzxnI/AAAAAAAAAzk/ssSzgRLm6cM/s200/DSCN1439.JPG" width="150" /></a>Two years ago, I was recovering from an emergency hysterectomy precipitated by an abscess formed during my oophorectomy a month prior. The oophorectomy was a preemptive move to avoid ovarian cancer that so often goes along with BRCA1 breast cancer genes. I also had the honor of being blessed with the gift of the Right to Life of Owensboro's Life Award for my pro-life and pro-woman journey through breast cancer while pregnant. My children were well on their way to charming anyone within distance of the two year old boy and almost one year old girl.</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TvGkGJMH_wg/UI76a3oQnzI/AAAAAAAAAz8/O8VGSd3umUc/s1600/Faces+of+Cancer+fixed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TvGkGJMH_wg/UI76a3oQnzI/AAAAAAAAAz8/O8VGSd3umUc/s200/Faces+of+Cancer+fixed.jpg" width="130" /></a>One year ago, I was in a hospital in Houston, TX recovering from my third reconstructive surgery. This third surgery was one of my last steps to completely overcome the obstacle of my journey with breast cancer. I had my modified radical mastectomy when my daughter was about three months old. However, the second surgery, replacement of the expander implants with regular implants, had the unforeseen consequence of causing further pain. In an effort to recover from the pain, I chose to have the implants completely removed and use my own <a href="http://erikasmiraclejourney.blogspot.com/2011/09/excited-trepedatious.html" target="_blank">abdominal fat tissue to reconstruct my breasts</a>. The surgery was long, difficult, and painful, but resolved some of the pain issues. Shortly before this surgery, I was again honored. This time the honor came from the Kentucky Cancer Program. Rachel and I were selected to be representatives of the Faces of Cancer photography series.</div>
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Five months ago, I had my last surgery (I hope and pray) connected to my breast cancer diagnosis. This last surgery gave (Dr) Adams (back) my first rib. Again, this surgery was a last-ditch effort to resolve the pain that hadn't loosened its grip on me since my mastectomy. I had finally been diagnosed with something "treatable" instead of chronic idiopathic pain. Although Thoracic Outlet Syndrome isn't truly "curable" it is treatable with surgery, physical therapy, and time.<br />
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Just this past week, I had my four month check-up with my oncologist. He gave me an all-clear for another four months. Although no one really thinks I'll be diagnosed with cancer again, these appointments make me very nervous. That same day I also took the opportunity to peek through an open window as the door closes on another aspect of my life. </div>
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In less than a month, my miracle baby will turn three. Time really does fly when you're having fun. Both of my children give me such joy and are so much fun that time with them seems truly fleeting. As my children blur in photographs, so too do the misfortunes that have faced me, my family, and my friends these past three years.<br />
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Since my diagnosis that fateful July day, I have tried to live my life as if each day is my last. I praise God for all the wonderful people He surrounded me with through this difficult time. He also gets many thanks for the blessings of my two very healthy (some might even say robust) children. My husband and I know that we are triply blessed to have three sets of very active grandparents to help us care for our babies. We also offer thanks for our joining our lives as one. Above all, each and every day is an opportunity to praise God for the most important gift of all: LIFE!<br />
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Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-60153425057119765012012-10-01T07:50:00.001-05:002012-10-08T18:43:48.714-05:00Another Breast Cancer "Awareness" Month<div id="dE_H" style=";width:100%; height:100%; ;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Its October again... Everything is swathed in pink. Please take the following as advice before you cover yourself in pink for the "cause"... Breast Cancer Awareness month is an euphemism for "Give us money so we can pay our salaries"! Forgive me if I sound bitter or snide, but I was diagnosed at 28 years old and 20 weeks pregnant and Komen, American Cancer Society, and most (if not all<img id="img32556ea1-d74a-4b42-acdf-37bc34aa3b1a" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-9qgbZUM2nbM/UGmNboLSJeI/AAAAAAAAAxQ/R8mD4251PKI/%25255BUNSET%25255D.jpg" style="height:189px;width:211px;opacity:1;margin:1em;float:right;left:165px;top:154px" class="" mvc="false">) big name "Awareness" groups offered me two choices when I was diagnosed: 1) hope that I didn't die before I had my baby without treatment or 2) kill my baby to seek treatment. However, MD Anderson had (has) been doing chemo on pregnant women for more than 20 years with better results than on similar post-abortive mothers. No thanks to those big-name organizations, not only did I survive, but also my almost 3 year old daughter survived as well! We are the fifth and sixth generation of survivors, but only the last three of us actually survived (my mother is now a 7 year survivor, but her mother died at 58 and her grandmother and great grandmother died in their 40s). </span><br />
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<div><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">How did those big organizations "support" me in my time of need? How do those big name organizations further the "cure" by not only killing future generations but also condemning those women who fall for their lies to worse survival rates? Who gains by the continued denials of links or causation of breast cancer by hormonal contraceptives and abortions? Where's the "cure" there. "Awareness" means less than nothing if erring on the side of caution (for instance publicly admitting possible links/causation between hormonal contraceptives and abortions and breast cancer -- and other cancers). It should be called "Brea$t Cancer Awarene$$" because all it does is line the pockets of the organizers while presenting false hope to victims and supporters! </span></div><div><a id="lnkimgdfc1606e-52f1-4ea5-b069-25ab4b27a1c6" target="_blank" href=""><img id="imgce0f61f1-d834-4439-8cf4-9a2e7870a591" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-bdLUWE4JGUI/UGmNdUvAgDI/AAAAAAAAAxY/ecAPyDAVhl8/%25255BUNSET%25255D.jpg" style="height:203px;width:304px;opacity:1;margin:1em;float:left" class=""></a></div><br />
<div><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Even if the scientific link between abortion and hormonal contraceptives is weak (it isn't), women deserve to be told the WHOLE truth about these "necessary" parts of "reproductive rights". For instance, the link between BPA and the ills it causes aren't much (if any) stronger than the links between hormonal contraceptives and breast cancer, yet everyone avoids BPA to err on the side of caution (</span><a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20945454" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="link" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0" style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20945454</a><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 15px; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "> )</span><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">. To be perfectly honest, I actually didn't realize until looking at the journal articles while writing this post, that the type of carcinogenic chemical of BPA is actually VERY similar to hormonal contraceptives (estradiol, estratone, estrogen-like chemicals). Why shouldn't the big organizations advocate the same type of caution for abortion and hormonal contraceptives? The WHO (World Health Organization) has ranked contraceptives as Level 1 carcinogens (</span><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 15px; line-height: 19px; white-space: nowrap; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><a href="http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/publications/ageing/cocs_hrt_statement.pdf" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="link" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0">http://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/publications/ageing/cocs_hrt_statement.pdf</a> ). </span><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">If the purpose of these organizations was truly to reduce breast cancer (and other cancers) wouldn't they advise women to avoid hormonal contraceptives? Instead, the supposed "benefits" of these "reproductive rights" are said to "outweigh" the risks... As a survivor, if I thought there was something I could do that was completely choice oriented to prevent my daughter from getting breast cancer, you'd better believe I'd do everything in my power to see that she made the right choice!</span></div><div><span style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "></span></div><div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Where's the benefit of that type of false "awareness"? T-shirts, bumper stickers, etc with cutesy "Feel your Boobies" or "Save the Tatas" slogans* don't actually further the cause of finding a cure or providing real life support for victims. Instead all they do is demean the victims of this horrible disease. Don't get me wrong, I own a few t-shirts with similar slogans, but I AM a survivor. Plus, most of them (except the "Fight like a Girl" one) were given to me by friends in an effort to lift my spirits by letting me know they were supporting me in my struggle. The friends who gave me those t-shirts didn't just plunk down $20 for a shirt and consider themselves supporting me in my struggle. No, they actually DID things to help me: sent notes of care/support, listened while I cried or whined, helped me with a real task in life, prayed for me, spoke to me of courage and strength, etc. The t-shirt was just the physical and remaining reminder that they DID something that actually helped me--even if it was just emotional or mental help. That is the way true supporters can lend a hand to victims of this horrible disease.</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Some of the newer more popular slogans are actually innuendos that over-sexualize the disease and body parts involved. The "boobies" I lost during my mastectomy weren't playthings or frivolous slightly naughty bits--they were nutrition for my son for his first year of life. They were a visible representation of my gender. Sadly, they were also linked, in ways I did not and still do not understand, to my self esteem and self image. Yes, I can laugh about cutting them off because they were trying to kill me, but you don't know the feelings I hide behind that laugh. I have numerous very real physical scars from the three surgeries to remove and "replace" those body parts, but worse than the physical scars are the emotional ones that no one--not even other survivors necessarily--can understand. Every women (or man, since they get breast cancer too) has different breasts, and her "relationship" (for lack of a better </div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><img id="imgd819e57f-180f-4bba-a627-e32869641527" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-sOEsc6nq2mQ/UGmNfDP7YbI/AAAAAAAAAxg/q1m1ehiWHTY/%25255BUNSET%25255D.jpg" style="height:146px;width:195px;opacity:1;margin:1em;float:right;left:157px;top:133px" class="" mvc="false">word) is unique to her, so her response to these traitorous body parts and the subsequent removal or alteration of them is different too. Often, women are evaluated by their breasts because we live in a highly sexualized world. So losing or altering this most visible sign of womanhood can be highly traumatic. It's really only something some of us laugh about because the alternative is crying. When you add the other losses (loss of ovaries, tubes, uterus, cervix, etc) some of us face because of related cancers, the emotional toll rises and hearing or seeing such jocular interpretations of our loss(es) can be devastating.</div><br />
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "></div><br />
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<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><a id="lnkimgfa15efff-4e38-4b7c-bf83-b612b5922895" target="_blank" href=""></a><a id="lnkimgfa15efff-4e38-4b7c-bf83-b612b5922895" target="_blank" href=""><img id="img4e0b63a5-e641-4096-8997-0583a1358f10" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-ebXv4Plb-9s/UGmNgu515iI/AAAAAAAAAxo/-ys9sKf-OAw/%25255BUNSET%25255D.jpg" style="height:260px;width:117px;opacity:1;margin:1em;float:left" class=""></a></div><br />
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><i><b>If you're aware of breast cancer and want to help 1) find a struggling victim in your neighborhood or area to support, 2) thoroughly research any organization BEFORE donating, 3) don't play meaningless "games" for awareness sake, 4) open your eyes to the truth of breast cancer (and other cancers) and let others know it, and/or 5) pray for a cure, better survivability, and more real world support for victims. Those are things that really help real people who are victims! </b></i></div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">*I don't mean to pick on just these two slogans, but they were the first ones to come to mind... I have no affiliation or hatred of any of these slogans except as explained above. If it makes you feel better about yourself, by all means wear or buy products with these types of slogans on them. However, don't expect me (or other victims/survivors) to appreciate it if that's all you do.</div><br />
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This post seen first at www.CatholicSistas.comErikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-57726788559109233672012-08-01T12:00:00.000-05:002012-08-01T12:00:02.304-05:00Changes<div id="dE_H" style=";width:100%; height:100%; ;">I'm not feeling very well right now, so be forewarned, this isn't going to be a cheerful post. :-/<div><br></div><div>As I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and again tonight, my appearance (to me) is sadly lacking. I'm not talking about the "wings" I still have from my "tummy-tuck-boob-job reconstruction" or the significantly smaller breasts that resulted from that surgery. I'm not talking about the years (I feel) that have aged my face. I'm talking about the fact that washing my not-even-shoulder-length hair is a task I leave until absolutely necessary. I'm talking about the dresses I wear so the pain of my abdominal scar doesn't get too bad to bear. I'm talking about the swelling above my left collar-bone from my most recent surgery. I'm talking about the exhaustion in my eyes from fighting day in a<a id="lnkimgf49566c8-eb42-4096-bd94-bb18a2b62b05" target="_self" href=""><img id="imgf49566c8-eb42-4096-bd94-bb18a2b62b05" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-RuIgaMadmuM/UBieFv-iQ1I/AAAAAAAAAtw/WxiOKqQjknM/%25255BUNSET%25255D.jpg" style="margin-top:1em;margin-right:1em;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:1em;float:right;width:178px;height:238px;left:149px;top:179px;opacity:1" class="" mvc="false"></a>nd day out to regain normalcy. Then, just under the surface, lies the nearly chronically upset stomach (caused by stress) and the tension in my shoulders, neck, and back. </div><div><br></div><div>Most people don't see any of the above as significant. They see that I present myself to the best of my ability and either think I lack style, class, or care; or they don't even notice the deficiencies I mentioned. When I'm feeling low, as I am now, it's so difficult for me to see past my struggles, As much as I don't want pity, I do wish for understanding. There are some in my life who deny that my life hasn't returned to normal. There are others that sincerely support me through the good and bad, I thank God daily for those in the second group as I dread my interactions with those in the first group. </div><div><br></div><div>There, my whining session is over. Sorry... Please return to your regular state of mind. Pay no attention to the woman behind these words. God bless!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><a id="lnkimgf49566c8-eb42-4096-bd94-bb18a2b62b05" target="_blank" href=""></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); "> </span></span></div></div>Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-91685080978816389672012-07-25T12:00:00.000-05:002012-07-25T21:55:54.061-05:00Blast from the Past<div id="dE_H" style=";width:100%; height:100%; ;">This afternoon on my commute home, I was listening to a random WMA playlist I created in 2005. At the time I was 4 years out from losing my best friend and fiancé to metastatic melanoma (July 23, 2001 -- RIP). I had been out of school for 2 years and had my current job for about a year. I had yet to meet my husband. The songs I chose for this playlist seem completely random; I've got Incubus, Nickelback, and Default playing right after Faith Hill, SheDaisy, and Rascal Flatts, then I've got the Beatles and Creed playing after Allison Kraus and Nickel Creek. Yet, when I listen to the music in this seemingly random playlist, I return to some of the emotions I struggled with during those times. Honestly, the emotions I'm struggling with now are pretty similar. Then, as now, the words of Creed's <i>Six Feet from the Edge</i> keep reverberating through my mind, "Now that its over, reflecting on all of my mistakes, I thought I found the road to somewhere, somewhere in His grace. I cried out, 'Heaven save me,' but I'm down to one last breath, and with it let me say, let me say... Hold me now, I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking, 'maybe six feet ain't so far down'." </span><div><br />
</div><div>In 2005, like now, from the outside everything seemed normal. Strangers and aquantances saw a young woman going through life with a smile. True friends and family saw that behind the smile lurk tears of loss, sadness, despair, and insecurity. Physically I looked fairly well put together. I still eschew make-up for the most part. My hair was even similarly styled, which is to say unstyled. The 7 years since I arranged that playlist have been filled with momentous changes: marriage to my new best friend, my mom's cancer diagnosis, creation of 6 souls (even though only 2 made it to birth), my cancer diagnosis and subsequent fight for a healthy body. Yet, here I am, fighting the same inner demons I thought I'd vanquished. <div><br />
</div><div>Then, I was still reeling from my fiance's death even though the general population thought I'd grieved enough. Now, I'm still reeling from the loss of my relatively healthy body even though the general population thinks I'm "cured". The general opinion that I should be further along in my recovery never ceases to erode my self-confidence--just as it did then. However, when I parked my car in my driveway this afternoon, the biggest differences in then verses now were dancing on my back porch: Andrew, Simon, and Rachel. Earlier this evening, as Andrew hugged me as I silently wept, first Rachel, and then Simon climbed into our arms. With two active, healthy, and compassionate children like them, there is no time to wallow in tears. Even though my life is still in tatters, watching my two children interact with one another and us weaves the fabric of my life back into one piece. Oh, the mended places are still weak and prone to tears, but the overall effect is one of wholeness. Combining the theraputic effect of my children and husband with the graces from my Father in Heaven is the only way I'm able to continue on mending my tattered life time and time again. </div><div><br />
</div><div>To me it seems as though I'm constantly begging for your prayers and intercession for the bombshells that shred the tapestry of my life. I feel like a whiner and drama-queen at times because it seems as though there is *always* something devastating to me. When others tell me I'm strong, an inspiration, or some-such, the bleakness in my mind doesn't receive the soothing effects of the words. All I see is that once again, I'm humbled to have to beg for more prayers for the seemingly endless string of catastrophes in my life. I don't see strength in my actions, I only see that I have two choices: to completely give up or to continue to fight even though I am weak. I don't see the inspiration in my struggles because I know that at times I ask God to just release me from my prison. Yet, deep down, I know that God and you are pulling for me. Even when all I see are the solid bars of my prison, you ask God to light me from above, and He does. Oh, sometimes I don't see the light because I'm too busy closing my eyes to fight the darkness. Eventually, I open my eyes and see a new day where the bars of my prison turn into a ladder out of the depths of despair. This wouldn't be possible without intercession from you here on earth, the Saints in Heaven, and God's will. So here I am, asking for your intercession once again... Please hold me in your thoughts an prayers because I know that is how I've made it this long. Thank you!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "></span></div></div><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-puBn1BRvZ80/UBCxtr-vZkI/AAAAAAAAAtk/T_WjPGvfj4A/s640/blogger-image-52931244.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-puBn1BRvZ80/UBCxtr-vZkI/AAAAAAAAAtk/T_WjPGvfj4A/s640/blogger-image-52931244.jpg" /></a></div>Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457925939652856715.post-2392435312125438862012-07-12T12:30:00.000-05:002012-07-12T12:30:01.380-05:00Under My Smile<div id="dE_H" style=";width:100%; height:100%; ;">The last three years have been doozies. From recovering from a life-threatening miscarriage to conceiving again within a month... From waiting to pass the first magic 12 weeks of pregnancy to being diagnosed with breast cancer at 20 weeks... From the mind-numbing terror of the unknown as I embarked on my miracle journey to treat my cancer while maintaining my pregnancy to delivering a healthy baby girl... From beginning new chemotherapy to cutting it short due to an allergic reaction... From my mastectomy to my ill-fated oophorectomy... From my ill-fated reconstruction to my journey through pain management... From my final reconstruction to a diagnosis of brachial plexopathy... From a diagnosis of thoracic outlet syndrome to surgery to correct it... From my daily struggle to deal with the pain associated to continued physical therapy. The list goes on and on. <br /><div><br /><br></div><br /><div>At each juncture, I've wondered if I was strong enough to continue. In the back of my mind is always that frightened child who clings to safety, but publicly displays strength and even humor at life's twists and turns. At times, I let the frightened child express herself through this blog, on the shoulder of my dear husband, at the bosom of my mother, or in the dark during my prayers. There have been countless instances of asking myself whether I'm capable of going on. In these dark moments I try to cling to the Light that is God. Yet sometimes, the darkness is so overwhelming that I can't find the light. Sometimes the voices of others around me drag me into the depths of despair by casting doubts upon me.<br /><div><br /><br></div><br /><div>This last is, without a doubt, the most difficult hurdle I face. When others cast aspersions upon me, the choices I've had to make, the realities of my every day life, and the tiny fraction of my life they know about. At this point, it doesn't take much to make me doubt myself. Honestly, it has never taken much, but as I struggle with finding the Light in the darkness around me, the smallest doubt can cast me into the depths of despair. There are undoubtably those who think my journey has been too long, too public, and too improbable. These are the ones who hurt me the most -- especially when they're in the guise of people I respected and liked. It is an utter betrayal to go from wishing me well to constant questioning. When a pat on the back is really a feel for the softest place to twist the knife, the anticipation is palpable. </div></div><br /><div><a id="lnkimgc9204462-d2e3-44a2-b5b8-092a4548a158" target="_self" href=""><img id="imge15d0587-361d-4cdf-940b-44830811b765" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-jlitWK8_jxY/T_5JmRoWS_I/AAAAAAAAAtM/ZQZNUynJ0WU/%25255BUNSET%25255D.png" style="background-color:transparent;box-shadow:none;margin-top:1em;margin-right:1em;margin-bottom:1em;margin-left:1em;float:right;width:340px;height:237px;left:230px;top:178px;opacity:1" class="" mvc="false"></a><br /><br></div><br /><div>Sometimes I wonder where I went wrong. How should I have presented this journey to let outsiders know the truth? Did I make light of my struggles too often? Do I appear too "healthy" to be dealing with my situation? Am I too happy to have such a situation? When I make the best of my situation do I appear to be lying about my struggles? Is it possible for someone who has never experienced this type of journey to understand my journey? In dealing with some of these outsiders, I have run the gamut of discussing in-depth each step to very brief updates on a need to know basis. I am still questioned and suspected of wrong-doing regardless of the tact I take. When this is all over, I hope to be able to ask, "When did your perspective of my situation change from compassionate to suspicious? What did I do, or not do, that tipped the scales against me? Was this ending inevitable from the start, or was there a turning point I was unaware of?" Every time I think I've found peace with my situation, the knife is twisted a little bit more. Every time I think I'm handing things well, something will happen and the rules will change. I wish I had the rule-book, so I could follow it... That's what I'm good at, being pedantic: following rules. </div><br /><div><br /><br></div><br /><div>There are many things I would like to wish away. Some things I wish for aren't even that big of a deal, but have changed my life dramatically. For instance, after my last reconstruction, I gained a huge scar around my waist. The feeling in this area is a strange mix of numbness, tightness, pain, and just plain old irritation. This isn't life-threatening, but it has been life altering because now I find myself wearing dresses almost exclusively. While I admit that wearing dresses in the 100 degrees or more heat of summer is cooler than shorts or capris, dresses have never been my first choice as my wardrobe. Yet, the feeling of pants around my waist combined with the difficulty of using my bad arm to pull them up has necessitated the wardrobe change. On the surface, it looks as if I just chose to change my style. In reality, I have a closet full of clothing I can't stand to wear because I can't stand the sensations and difficulties of wearing them. </div><br /><div><br /><br></div><br /><div>Again, I choose to describe an outward sign of my struggle instead of delving into the inner scars that hurt far more. Describing the inner scars takes more courage than I have. Putting those inner scars on display leaves me much more vulnerable to further cutting words and misunderstandings. It would also make them more real and undeniable. When I look at myself I see all the visible scars, but it is really the inner scars that are invisible that cause the most pain and agony. But to enumerate them and describe them would put faces to them to haunt me further. There is no aspect of my life that my journey has not touched. </div><br /><div><br /><br></div><br /><div><i>O Master, grant that I may never seek so much to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love with all my soul. ~ </i>the song of St Francis</div><br /><div><br /><br></div><br /><div>Although I do wish to be consoled, understood, and loved, I put all this out in the cyber world so that others may identify with these struggles and feel that they have a partner in their own journey. It is in living this struggle that I hope others can find the strength within themselves to live through their struggles. </div><br /><div><br /><br></div><i>Without the burden of afflictions it is impossible to reach the height of grace. The gift of grace increases as the struggle increases. ~ </i>St Rose of Lima<div><br /><br></div></div>Erikahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08515546833172495309noreply@blogger.com0