Sunday, January 22, 2012

This day through the years...

Five years ago on this day I was lounging on the couch recuperating from my first of 4 miscarriages. At the time, I gave little thought to the significance of the day. I was heartbroken and distraught from my body's inability to sustain the life that my husband and I co-created out of love.

Four years ago on this day I was 8 months pregnant with my son. He had two siblings in heaven watching over us and guiding him in the ways of the saints. My husband and I were in a tizzy of preparation for the blessed day. Millions of women on that day were celebrating their 'freedom of choice' or protesting the barbaric practice of abortion put in place on this day.

Three years ago I was once again in recuperating mode after losing a fourth child and almost my own life. I was dreading further conceptions, but placed my trust in God and the loving man He gave me. Our son was preparing for his first birthday. We had been blessed as we were also saddled with difficulties. In that same year, I was faced with a 'choice' concerning my life and my unborn child's life. You see, I was 28 years old and pregnant for the 6th time in 4 years. I had a 2.5 cm tumor in my breast at 20 weeks pregnant. Everyone was stunned. No one knew what could be done. No one knew if either of us could survive together or separately. Due to the decision made 39 years ago today, I was tentatively offer the choice to eliminate my baby so I could undergo cancer treatment. The thought was so repugnant to me that I felt sick to my stomach.

I had already fought for this precious life in my womb. To carry this baby I had endured progesterone shots and suppositories. I had given up my favorite drinks: Cherry Coke and honey whiskey (separately). I had prepared my 18 month old son for a sibling. I withstood the anxiety of the first 12 weeks knowing that at any point this life within me could be snuffed out by my body's inadequacies as 4 previous lives had been.

How could ANYONE snuff an innocent life on the none-to-certain possibility that my cancer would be treatable? How could ANYONE knowingly choose to end a life after going through the pain (emotional and physical) of a miscarriage? How could ANYONE deny the fundamental fact that, as a woman, my body was designed to carry, protect, and nourish the most vulnerable of our species?

I NEVER considered ending the life within me. That was not a choice because death is not a choice for humans to make -- it is our Creators choice. I girded up my loins and prepared to battle for both of our lives. As I lay in bed with my now 2 year old daughter, I have no regrets. Both of us did more than just survive. She's a thriving, living, learning, talking, moving miracle even as she lays snoring by my side. I am such a different woman than I was on this day 3 years ago. I am blessed with 4 saintly babies in Heaven praying for me, my husband, and their siblings. I have 2 earthly saints-in-devils-clothing children continually trying my patience and warming my heart. I have a loving, patient, long-suffering husband who has also met our challenges head-on. I have a long list of loving family members and friends who have helped tremendously as we've faced our challenges. We all know that my 'choice' was really not between life and death for my daughter; it was about how my attitude would be as we fought.

So, when a pro-abort uses the term choice, ask them, as you think of stories like mine, 'What do they really mean by choice?'

13 comments:

  1. We mean that you chose to carry your pregnancies to term. It's not complicated. You are just ignorant.

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    1. No Mallory, that's not being ignorant, it's being realistic. Society claims that the Pro-Choice movement is to allow women a choice to keep or to abort a life...but when you choose to be pro-life or keep the life you are criticized to no end. If pro-choicers really meant, "you choose to carry your pregnancies to term" and only that sure, but that's not the reality of it. Unfortunately, MOST pro-choicers don't want you to carry many pregnancies and belittle women who choose to have large families. That, my dear, is not Pro-Choice! That's what Erika meant when she asked that question. For you, I might add you to the list of ignorant pro-choicers who idealistically think that that is what all pro-choicers believe. It would be ignorant of you to continue thinking this way.

      PS: Calling a total perfect stranger "ignorant" is utterly rude and rash, and lets not mention intolerant of others. Sad!

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    2. Name calling clearly does not require deep erudition or substantial, intellectual reasoning skills. You are 'ignorant'? What does that mean? It reminds of a child saying to his sibling, I hate you. He doesn't really know what he is saying. That is what generic statements accomplish; merely underscoring the ignorance of the one who dares to gripe. LOL!

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  2. Mallory -- in my experience, pro-aborts don't emphasize carrying to term -- all they promote is abortion & birth control. How does that make me the ignorant one?

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  3. Mallory, seriously, that's what you've got as a comment? What your comment illustrates is that you must not have an answer to Erik'a question, 'what do YOU mean by 'choice'? Because I've never met a pro-abortion person yet who wasn't intent on the only choice being abortion - where are the Planned Parenthood centers for crisis pregnancy. Where is the choice that they (you) provide when a woman wants to choose to carry to term. Read my post here for references...91% of pregnant women who walk through the doorway of 'choice' (Planned Parenthood) come out the mothers of dead babies! Think about it before you answer. What do YOU mean by 'choice'?

    http://www.catholicsistas.com/2012/01/22/seriously-what-do-you-mean-by-choice/

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  4. Wow, I am kind of surprised to even see a Pro-abort comment on a Pro-LIFE blog. They usually run for cover.
    I think, when we ask "What do you mean by choice?" We want to know what the average pro-choicer really thinks the agenda is on that side of the fence. I think most pro-choicers are truly ignorant of the facts. They don't seem to know that Planned Parenthood's #1 agenda is abortion. They don't realize that when you walk into a PP you are NOT offered choices, merely told that if you are pregnant, you will need an abortion. (Please, I know this is true, my sister and I have done test runs in PP before, just to see what they said, and of course, expose the agenda.)How is telling a pregnant woman, who is probably scared and upset, that she needs an abortion offering her options? You shout about choice, 64% of abortions are coerced - how in the world is that a "choice"???
    Thanks Erika - for being so in tune with God's plan for your life, that you offered all to Him, and trusted Him. Blessings!

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    1. I'm with you Megan...surprised also. I agree with you too - pro-choice is in your face all over the place..let's hear the other side and know the TRUE facts.

      Thanks Erika for following life giving choices -- God is all about LIFE.

      Denise

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  5. Thank you, Erika, for this great post. This is a true illustration of what life really means to us. And, for what the pro-death/pro-"choice" side is really like. It is one thing to disagree with a person, but to call them "ignorant" is to admit that you have no ideas with which to argue. Mallory, I will pray for you. I was once ok with abortion, but then I was faced with what that really meant when I stood face to face with a 7 year old child who had been conceived by rape. The child was the spitting image of his mother. All I could think of was that I would have been ok if this child had been killed by his mother. It was my conversion moment. This beautiful, wonderfully polite child could have not been there. I feel so blessed that God put this woman and her child in my life.

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  6. You are a brave woman and a source of courage. I will think of you whenever fear of another pregnancy attacks me. May God bless you and your family. God cannot be outdone in generosity.

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  7. Thank you Erika for sharing your story and for everyone else sharing your supportive comments. Erika, you are a reminder that our faith in God should never waver. God bless your beautiful family.

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  8. Plus your kids are adorable! AND like you said in your blog post, you have so many little saints in Heaven watching over you, praying for you, that's awesome!

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  9. Erika,
    Thank you for sharing your story. I have lost 2 pregnancies by miscarriage and had 4 children. The loss of my first pregnancy is what truly demonstrated to me what I choose: Life. I blogged about it here: http://homeschoolingmama.com/?p=656.
    It would seem Mallory doesn't really know how to answer a question. You didn't deserve a comment like that.

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  10. Erika,

    Yours is such a beautiful story to share. No one should be made to feel bad for choosing the life of their unborn child.

    My sister has a good friend who struggled to carry her daughter to term. This friend was in pre-term labor that would not stop and around the 25 week mark. The doctors kept saying they HAD to abort as the baby wouldn't survive if born that early. They refused and managed to keep the baby in utero for a few more precious days. Their daughter was born and those same doctors then switched into 'keep this baby alive' mode of operation. The little girl has struggled with health issues, but is now a beautiful toddler who continues to grow and thrive.

    So sad that people don't realize groups like PP push birth control they know will eventually fail and then make it seem like abortion is the only option. I did a review of a documentary that reveals some of their tactics and wish I could get some of my friends who support 'choice' to watch it. (http://daybydayinourworld.com/2011/06/blood-money-dvd-a-review/ is the review of it.)

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My Chemo-Jane hair-style

My Chemo-Jane hair-style
I just had to have my mom buzz my hair because it was falling out so badly.

Pre-op wearing my hand-crocheted cap with my prayer shawl.

Pre-op wearing my hand-crocheted cap with my prayer shawl.
My loving husband is watching me distract myself with a game on his iPhone.

2 days after my BMX w/ 100ccs in the TEs

2 days after my BMX w/ 100ccs in the TEs
I even have a fashionable belt to hold up my drains.

3 weeks post-op w/ 400ccs in each TE

3 weeks post-op w/ 400ccs in each TE
The smile is fake because the TEs were irritating!