Weird things to wear me out...

I've become a master at identifying too late things that are quite difficult for me to perform. It's not that I'm stupid (I don't think anyway). It's just that I either don't fully consider the full implications of my activity or I'm just not in nearly as good shape as I thought. After all, it's been over 2 years since my chest and arms were as God made them. It's also only been 7 weeks since I had major surgery that even caused me to lose enough blood for an OR transfusion.

This weekend I chose to do some Christmas baking with the kids. I got them situated, all the ingredients out, as well as my various measuring devices and mixing bowls. I measured everything (like a good sous chef) so the kids could "help". The first step of my cocoa chocolate chip cookies was creaming the butter and sugar together. Well before the mixture was creamed, my arms gave out. Of course at that point I'd already begun, so there really wasn't much point or chance to stop. Oh, just as an FYI I *was* using my hand-held electric mixer, not hand mixing.

Another task I performed weeks ago even made my physical therapist look askance as me. I was doing my "homework" from her (stretches and such) with the kids. That lead to a game of "Mama Says". In the course of the game it is usually necessary for me to demonstrate a couple requests. It's also quite likely for the kids to ask me to join in the activities. So, about 4 weeks after surgery, I thoughtlessly did a somersault. The excruciating pain was immediate. Actually, I wasn't even halfway through the somersault before I knew it was a bad idea. My father-in-law kind of laughed at me. The kids thought it was awesome for me to join them. (shrug)

I do similar things all the time. It never fails that when I'm under restrictions something heavy needs to be lifted, I have time to re-organize a closet, kids misbehave, etc. I am a do-er not a supervisor, so I leap into the fray before giving a thought to my own capabilities or the full range of consequences possible with a given action. You'd think after 2 years I'd have figured it out, so perhaps I am a bit on the stupid side... However, I prefer to think of myself as overly optimistic and involved. ;-)

Home Sweet KY!!!

Today I was released from TX!!! Yippee!!

I also met with a physical rehabilitation (Supportive Care) doctor. After performing a difficult (due to my abdominal restrictions) exam, the doctor spoke to me about my pain issues. He indicated that there may be some nerve damage &/or some muscular deficits from the mastectomy. Time will tell whether the surgery and physical therapy will be successful at eliminating this chronic pain. Hopefully by the end of my recovery period I will know the full extent if this latest adventure's success (or failure). My surgeon told me to think only of the positives. He commented that I was healing "remarkably well" as my stitches and the wires on my arteries were removed.

We have just returned to KY (at 5 am after driving all night). In 6-8 weeks I will have another follow-up appointment with the surgeon and physical rehabilitation doctor in TX. In this 6-8 weeks I plan to rest and rehabilitate. I will be seeking out physical therapy & some more diagnostic tests locally. I intend to rest first to recover from this traumatic surgery. Then I plan to throw myself into rehabilitation with my customary gusto.

I have received some kind emails from various individuals and groups, including some fellow KSP employees. I am grateful and humbled by any show of support. This support means more to me than I can say. Please keep it coming because this journey is still not over. Without support from people like you, I would not be able to do as well as I do. Thank you!

Memories...

I have little recollection of Friday and Saturday. Sunday, I remember quite well, even though I'd rather forget it. My surgery Friday was successful from the surgeons viewpoint. I haven't had any signs of infection or flap loss. The jury is still out as to the success of this surgery of relieving my chronic pain. As of Monday I just started to get some of the numbness & tingling feeling in my left arm. However, my collar bones aren't hurting. Sunday was really bad. Apparently, my body objects to anesthesia very violently on the second post-op day. I was retching so violently that my nose bled. Bleh. However, Monday I was awake from 5 am till 12 pm & did 4 laps around the nursing station. I ate & did all those things the doctors require post-op. I had 4 drains -- one lower left abdomen, one lower right abdomen, one left foob, & one right foob. The drains have been switched out for smaller ones too. Tuesday one of my drains was removed & the wires on my transplanted arteries were disconnected (the wires let the doctors hear the blood-flow). According to my doctors everything is looking good. I was released to the hotel mid-afternoon on Tuesday. When my other drains produce less than 20mL if swelling fluid for 2 days they can be taken out. It's looking like I'll go in Friday for drain removal. I have 2 appointments Monday & then we'll start the long trip home. My hopes are still high that at least some of my pain will be relieved from this surgery, but only time will tell. Thank you for all the prayers & thoughts!

Shaking & quaking...

Yesteday I had to drive to Frankfort for a work-related meeting. That's about 3 hours from my house. Of course, the weather chose to drizzle the entire way. Have I mentioned that driving hurts? Well, by the time I arrived at my destination, my hands were shaking with pain. My entire chest, arms, and neck were simply wrung out from the effort of controling the vehicle as I hurtled toward Frankfort. The meeting went well and before I was ready, it was time to make the return trip. Again, the weather was sigularly uncooperative -- drizzle interspersed with somewhat heavy rain. By the time I arrived home I had been gone for 12 hours and driven 400 miles. Andrew had to help me change clothes and cooked supper. He also had a nice fire in the fireplace for me! :-* I love that man!

I'm also still quite nervous about my upcoming surgery. My white blood counts aren't very good. I'm practically quaking with nerves about the possible out-come of this surgery. However, it still remains my best option. I think a combination of the drive yesterday and my pre-surgery nerves (combined with other anxiety inducing situations in my life right now) has produced a headache of tremendous portions. It feels as if my left eye is being clawed from my head and a stake has been driven through my forehead to exit out the back of my skull. Even with pain like this, my PET scan and MRI revealed no abnormalities. That is GREAT news, except it leaves me with debilitating headaches for no apparent reason. However, that is infinitely better than the alternative! ;-)