Here I Sit

Here I am, a 5 year survivor. Outwardly, I look as healthy as the proverbial horse. Inwardly, I wish I were healthy enough to go outside to work like a horse or even to play with a horse. Instead, I'm trapped inside bearing my cross that breast cancer left me... inexpiable, unpredictable, insurmountable bouts of pain shooting through my left arm and neck extending into my head and chest. Sleeping becomes my only refuge, but even it is tainted by the pain and must be supplemented with medications and ice packs. At least my Faith gives me the option of offering up my pain for the poor souls in purgatory and for those here on Earth in need of prayers. Otherwise, my pain would serve no purpose.

Perhaps that is why people turn towards "options" like the Hemlock Society as recently departed brain cancer/suicide Brittany. If you have no reason to believe your pain adds anything to your life or anyone else's life, whether here on Earth or in the next Life, then why would you prolong your suffering? Yet, anyone who reads and believes the Bible and Jesus' words should know and find comfort in affliction. St Paul took comfort in his affliction. In fact, there are some stories indicating that some early Christians ran almost too willingly to martyrdom in their efforts to take up their crosses and follow Christ to death (I can't find the source where I read that, sorry).

However, even if without a belief in the redemptive nature of suffering, there is always good left in life. Even Stephen Hawking, according to the recent movie about his life, The Theory of Everything, says "Where there's life, there's hope." Hawking is an ardent atheist and supporter of "assisted suicide" -- even though he could easily have been euthanized (had his life support removed) by his first wife 28 years ago according to the laws at the time and the ones he still supports. However, the quotation from the movie (that I've only seen via the trailers on TV) is an apt one for this type of discussion. Life is hope. Without life there is no hope. With my Catholic Faith, I know that with my Life, even as much as I dislike it sometimes, there is a purpose for the bad that benefits others or even myself. Therefore, even a miserable life has hope both in this world and in the next.

So, there, I turned my pity party into a pep-talk. How about that? Now for some random cuteness from my kiddos. They obviously have both Life and Hope in abundance!