Gentle Improvements

Thankfully, today has been a better day. With medication every 4 ih ours (and not a second longer), my pain has finally gotten under control. The antibiotic must have packed quite a punch, because the pain I had while breathing is almost entirely gone. It is such a relief to be able to take a semi-deep breath again, although coughing, sneezing, or hiccups are still incredibly painful. Apparently, there is something in the back of my mind that's bothering me... Twice today I ended up re-organizing cabinets. I tend to do that when I have some niggling worry in the back of my mind. Obviously the benefits of such a compulsion (and that is exactly what it is) is wonderful. However, with one arm supposedly "resting" the detriment is costly. 

Physically, I can tell I'm improving, but I can also tell that I still have a long way to go. For instance, after having a decent morning with the kids and my parents, I had to go home and lay down for a nap. I don't usually nap at all, much less for 3 hours in the middle if the day! Then there's also this nagging sharp pain right under my left shoulder blade. Not matter how I try to gently stretch the affected area, I can't get any relief. Just an hour ago or so I suddenly hit some invisible wall. All the sudden I felt vilely ill for no reason I could imagine. Thankfully that has passed. I didn't ice my neck today, out of laziness, I guess. My mother- and father-in-law came over and could see the ugly swelling. I think my father-in-law was slightly disappointed that I didn't get to keep my rib to let him see/have. He did comment that "it's about time" women gave a rib back to Adam. I corrected him and said I gave mine to Adams, Dr. Adams! 

I am incredibly thankful to have learned so many physical therapy exercises for my arms and shoulders. Daily, I put them to practice, even when I'm in pain to to to relieve any pain caused by tight nerves, muscles, or misplaced joints. I'm also eternally grateful to have my parents, and Andrew's parents, so close. Being next door, my parents are available at all hours to take the kids should something unforeseen occur. It is also a tremendous blessing for me to be so emotionally as well as physically close to my parents. Sharing day-to-day struggles and successes, a glass of wine or low-ball of whiskey, the Eucharistic meal, the glories of gardening, and the laughter in comfortable harmony is something I don't think all people know to enjoy. Of course, Andrew likes to make snide comments about not enjoying the benefits of being next door to his in-laws, but it's all bluster... He secretly loves it.

I'm definitely no anatomical artist, but this is a bird's eye view of the important body parts of mine. Enjoy!

A Bad Day...

It has been a long, painful, strange trip today. I began by tossing my cookies (actually popcorn) on and off all night last night. By 4 am, I was so exhausted and ill-feeling that I slept upright on the floor with my head on the counter. I couldn't mov my entire body, but especially my neck, head, and arms. I finally found the energy to clean myself of all the sickness around 6 am. 

Typically, I avoid the hospital emergency room like the plague. However, I was so sick snd in severe pain that I begged Andrew to take me to the ER at 7 am (Saturday May 19, 2012). I slowly walked into the empty waiting room, while Andrew had to go through the metal detector and have our bags inspected. For some unknown reason it still took 15-20 minutes for them to triage me. That is reason #1 I typically avoid this particular ER. I slowly plodded to an Acute Care room where it was about an hour before anyone came to speak with me or begin testing or treatment (reason #2). 

As I gave the nurses and doctors the run down of my symptoms, they said nothing useful nor did they ask questions. I had a low-grade fever at home (99.8), but "normal" temperatures when they checked. My head, neck, left arm, and entire left rib cage felt as if I'd been beaten. I couldn't move without tremendous painful. Although I hadn't had any pain medication since 4 am, I'm sure I looked stoned. Breathing was terribly painful and my heart rate was a racing 116 bpm. Yet, I journey keep my eyes open.

After I was settled in Acute Care, another couple of patients arrived. The portable chest x-ray machine was rolled up the hall, but skipped me, instead I was wheeled to the actual x-ray room and forced to place my arms above my head, regardless of the intense pain of that position. I mean, geez, I just had my first rib removed! That accounts for reason #3, this ER is completed inconsiderate of pain generated by your complaints. After the chest x-ray, I was in my room for another hour or so with no interaction with my care team. 

Finally, a different technician came to get me for a chest CT. Once again, I was forced to keep my right hand completely extended above my head. This radiologist tried to help with my left arm, but no matter ow she tried, I had to have it extended somewhat above my head, when it came time for the dye to enter my IV site, I had to tell the radiologist of the decreased blood flow in my right side as well. Her solution was for me to hike my hand up at a 90 degree angle t my body with the elbow straight. Still quite painful and difficult for me.

Another 30 minutes or so and the doctor came back into my room. He explained that I ha a bit of infrnpftion in my lung, he didn't specify any more than that. He was very polite in my obvious agony, but kept lightly slapping my right (good) shoulder and arm to emphasize his points. He explained that as a cancer survivor, the follow-up care for me is slightly more detailed than a non-cancer survivor. I have to follow up in a week or so (when the antibiotic is finished) with another chest x-ray or CT. He also told me he'd give me stronger pain medication and an antibiotic. A little while later, a nurse came in it a bag of antibiotic for my IV and some morphine for the pain. The sad thing was, even at a fairly high dose, the morphine didn't take a significant portion of the pain away. Once the IV antibiotic completed its dose, I was released. We had been in the ER for 5 hours -- reason #4.  

We had to go to the pharmacy, plus we needed some things (milk especially), so we went to Kroger. Once there I sat in one of the handicap carts and drove though the store. Due to the nature of the store and the unaccustomed width of the cart, I knocked an entire display onto the floor. Andrew had to pick it all up, I drove that thing for a wile until (very shortly after beginning my ride) it quit on me. I'd turn the key off and then turn it back onl it's while sometime stop instantly, or sometime later. It was very frustrating because I kept being in people's way, I eventually had to walk through the store nstead of riding, I met one of the nhe from Dr. A's office. I spoke to her for a while; she's very nice. Finally we were able to go home. I immediately settled in my recliner and took my ain medication and antibiotic. For a while I was feeling better, but it's a fleeting experience, that's all I can mamage right now. My apologies for any typos or crazy talk. I'm not feeling very goo right now, please keep praying for me! I desperately need all the help I can get! 

Eliminate Abortions to Decrease Breast Cancer

Don't want breast cancer? Don't have abortions! A new study from China indicates that abortion increases precast cancer risk by at least 1.55 times the normal rate. This is just one epidemiological study out of 53 that show a link between breast cancer and abortion! The Coalition on Abortion-Breast cancer has found 69 studies about the link, with 53 of them showing increased risk. This most recent Chinese study may actually even understate the significant risk due to most Chinese abortions happen after one child. One live birth/full term pregnancy matures up to 85% of breast tissue past susceptibility to cancer. Women who abort once (or even worse multiple times) before a live/full term pregnancy may have an even more significant breast cancer risk increase with each abortion.

This just furthers the reasons for abortion to not only be rare, but actually impossible. If breast cancer organizations really want to prevent breast cancer, they would be vehemently opposed to abortions. Sadly this isn't the case. If women's health was truly the goal of all these organizations, they would never partner or support an organization that performs or recommends abortions. Sadly, women's health seems to be a distant last place finish behind convenience and instant gratification. 

Please pray for abortion workers, people who have had or helped another get an abortion, for the victims of abortion, for those trying to save women and their children. All things are possible with God, so let us ask for His help in our fight for Life!

Attack of the Killer Adhesives

Attack of the killer adhesive still strikes... The left side of my neck and chest has swollen up considerably. I also have red marks from all the various adhesive patches they had on me. I had to call Dr A to be sure this wasn't something that needing a hospital visit. He said that since the area he operated on has a lot of lymph nodes and vessels in it, swelling can happen. If it gets worse or cuts of more of my breathing, then I have to go in. I've put ice on it for quite some time and it went down some. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers! Keep them coming if you don't mind.

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Onward and Homeward

Dr Adams has already been in too see me. He said he took about 4-5 inches of my rib out. His physicians assistant said that one of the nerves leading down my arm was right in their way during surgery. He told me that made him glad Dr Adams was performing the surgery. Dr Adams told me I had a lot of scar tissue in the facia in that area too. He supposedly removed or broke it all though. His PA took my drain out too! Dr Adams said the sling im wearing is mostly just to keep my arm still for a couple days. He also said I could go home now!

I just finished a bit of breakfast. I'm hoping I don't lose it later to my post anesthesia nausea/vomiting. I'm a bit queasy now, but nothing like I was after my last surgery. Right now my pain level has eased done to the 5-6 range. My IV is actually hurting worse than my arm right now. I walked around the floor yesterday all by myself! The nurse is getting ready to start my paper work to go home. Yippee!

I'm alive, but Ribless and Painful

I'm alive. A "hand-grenade" drain, a sling, an IV in my elbow and foot, blood pressure cuff on my other ankle, and missing about 5"9; my first rib, I dnt remember talking to the doctor yet. I'm staying overnight. My nursing assistant is a blast from the past. Andrew brought me a cherry coke! Pain level about a 7. Hoping for better soon! Thanks for the prayers, keep them up please!

Adams Rib Before Breakfast

Giving My Rib to Adams

We all know the biblical story of God creating Eve from Adam's rib (Genesis 2:21-22). Well, today I am giving my rib to Adams, Dr. Adams. It sounds weird, but in order to hopefully correct my Thoracic Outlet Syndrome (TOS) numbness, tingling, burning, pain, loss of circulation, etc down my left (and to a lesser extent, right) arm, my first rib must be removed. TOS (also called brachial plexopathy) is actually common in breast cancer patients. Often patients aren't diagnosed with TOS, but instead "frozen shoulder", for which the first-line treatment is the same: physical therapy. However, in cases like mine, physical therapy helps, but does not entirely eliminate the symptoms of TOS. In addition, my symptoms are of a more troubling sort since there is not only nerve damage and pain present, but also loss of arterial blood-flow. 

Unfortunately, much like cancer during pregnancy, TOS (and even "frozen shoulder") is not typically discussed or diagnosed. It has taken me almost two years to get a definitive diagnosis and reasonable treatment plan for what ails me. I've had major surgery (my last reconstruction) out of desperation because of this pain. When I continued to have pain, I sought the specialists in physical medicine, who recommended physical therapy and the utterly painful EMG. After six months of physical therapy, I find myself again going under the knife. 

I am so very nervous. I didn't sleep a wink last night. Even though this is one of the more minor surgeries I have had to date, for some reason it is more frightening. I'm very concerned that it may not work. I am also very concerned that it may actually make my arms worse. I pray that I am wrong. 

Giving My Rib to Adams

We all know the biblical story of God creating Eve from Adam's rib (Genesis 2:21-22). Well, today I am giving my rib to Adams, Dr. Adams. It sounds weird, but in order to hopefully correct my Thoracic Outlet Syndrome (TOS) numbness, tingling, burning, pain, loss of circulation, etc down my left (and to a lesser extent, right) arm, my first rib must be removed. TOS (also called brachial plexopathy) is actually common in breast cancer patients. Often patients aren't diagnosed with TOS, but instead "frozen shoulder", for which the first-line treatment is the same: physical therapy. However, in cases like mine, physical therapy helps, but does not entirely eliminate the symptoms of TOS. In addition, my symptoms are of a more troubling sort since there is not only nerve damage and pain present, but also loss of arterial blood-flow.

Unfortunately, much like cancer during pregnancy, TOS (and even "frozen shoulder") is not typically discussed or diagnosed. It has taken me almost two years to get a definitive diagnosis and reasonable treatment plan for what ails me. I've had major surgery (my last reconstruction) out of desperation because of this pain. When I continued to have pain, I sought the specialists in physical medicine, who recommended physical therapy and the utterly painful EMG. After six months of physical therapy, I find myself again going under the knife.

Not Either-Or, Both Can Live

It breaks my heart that women are basically coerced into pitting their lives against their unborn children's lives. There are many articles, some so recent the abstracts (medical journal summaries) aren't available yet, that prove that cancer during pregnancy is not an either-or situation. Both mother and child CAN live with no change to prognosis in most (if not all) instances. It is a crime for doctors to ignore this information. No woman should be coerced into what amounts to an abortion for any reason. But the blow is even more harsh when the mother is also a victim of cancer! This blow Hs struck me even more harshly right now so close to Mother's Day with an information and prayer request from a FB friend.

I'm going to put some links below with brief summaries of the main points. You'll have to excuse my non-hypertext links, but I'm working with an iPad app...

*This is the best overall article I've found. It is written for the cancer patient and care-givers, not doctors and scientists.
http://www.cancernetwork.com/gynecologic-cancer/content/article/10165/2031260?CID=rss

*This article is kind of a dry medical article, but the conclusion is that even delaying treatment until delivery does not negatively affect the overall prognosis of the mother. In other words, terminating the pregnancy is NOT necessary.
http://www.cancer.net/patient/Coping/Emotional+and+Physical+Matters/Sexual+and+Reproductive+Health/Pregnancy+and+Cancer

*This article indicates that the worst consequence of a cancer diagnosis during pregnancy -- death of the newborn baby -- is actually usually caused by the doctors forcing delivery too soon.
http://journals.lww.com/ijgc/Abstract/2011/08000/Management_of_Cancer_During_Pregnancy__Obstetric.30.aspx

*This article addresses my situation: a breast cancer diagnosis while pregnant. It blatantly says that there is no need for the life of the mother to be at odds against the life of the unborn child.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22308513

*This article addresses cervical cancer that has already invaded the peritoneal space as well as high-risk early disease. Again, conserving the pregnancy does not harm the prognosis for mother OR baby.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/22325661/

*This article addresses a melanoma diagnosis during pregnancy. Again conservative treatment: surgery to remove the tumor only, delivery of the baby, and chemotherapy after delivery is the treatment of choice.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/22331751/

*This article studied 118 women with a diagnosis of various types of cancer during pregnancy. Some miscarried, some terminated, some received treatment, others delayed treatment, but statistically, the prognosis was the same regardless of treatment.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/22410958/

*This article has no abstract available (it is e-Published prior to print publishing), but the title says it all: "Cancer during pregnancy can be treated successfully."
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/22455173/

*This is an older article (1992), but it clearly shows that even then, chemotherapy during pregnancy was known to be minimally risky to the baby and the mother's life.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/1621003/?i=2&from=/22455173/related

*This article has a large sample group and control group. Again, statistically speaking there was no benefit to terminating the pregnancy. There was also no increased rate of birth defects or even preterm deliveries to children exposed to chemotherapy in utero.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/19745695/?i=2&from=/22410958/related

There are many many many more trifles available, but I've probably already bored you to tears. If you re interested in more articles, look at the bottom of the journal abstracts for the "Related citations" section. You can also do your own search with your own terms on the PubMed database. Whether you look at more articles or not, you now know that there is seldom (if ever) a reason to terminate a pregnancy even with a cancer diagnosis. Please keep this information in your mind and heart to pass on to someone who has this terrible "choice" on their minds. Pray for all the babies that have been (and will be) needlessly killed because doctors don't do their homework when confronted with the "rare" cancer diagnosis during pregnancy. Pray for the doctors in these situations, too. Pray that they think and research BEFORE advising a frightened cancer patient to terminate their pregnancy.

NFP =\= NFL Team-sized Families

Here's a blog I contribute to on occasion. This article is about a doctor changing from prescribing contraceptives to a NFP-only practice. As usual I have made my own comments and emphasis. I post this here on my breast cancer blog because my diagnosis challenged my faith in NFP, but also further cemented the foundation I had in NFP. From my words and experience, I hope more women out there can learn about their bodies through NFP and avoid unnecessary cancers that artificial birth control increase. Using NFP does NOT mean a couple *wants* a bunch of children. Neither does it mean that a couple will *have* a bunch of children. Instead NFP gives us an understanding of how women's bodies work and the ability to work *with* God and our bodies, not against ('contra' in 'contraception' means against) God and our bodies. The only requirement for NFP is that you would accept another child as a gift from God, even if you felt like it was a curse. Openness to life doesn't mean that you want to create a whole bunch more lives; it just means that if that is what God gives you, you'll accept. I completely understand the fear of another pregnancy/child. I was terrified when I conceived my daughter (my last of 6 pregnancies). The pregnancy prior to hers almost killed me when my mmiscarriage lead to excessive bleeding. To be honest, I never really got excited about that pregnancy. Once the terror of the first 12 miscarriage-prone weeks were behind us, we had the terror of a breast cancer diagnosis looming ahead of us. Once I was diagnosed, I seriously asked God to just let me miscarry (I'm so sorry, Rachel) so I wouldn't have to make any hard choices (die without treatment to save my baby or kill my baby to save my life). I felt this way even though I had suffered through 4 previous miscarriages, that, at best, left me hollow and depressed, and, at worst, almost cost me my life. Thankfully, instead of answering my prayer the way I thought I wanted, God directed me to MD Anderson where I could be a part of a program that had been saving the lives of breast-cancer stricken pregnant mothers for 20 years!After I delivered my little girl, I was under strict orders to avoid conception for at least 2 years. I had one nurse-practitioner repeatedly call my judgement into question and try every method she knew to get my husband and me to use artificial birth control. Even though I was scared to death, I remained firm in my decision to use NFP and only NFP to avoid pregnancy. My husband and I were definitely afraid that we would fail in our attempt to TTA. However, by then we had come so far in our marriage and trust in God, that we kept to the narrow road of *very* conservative NFP for TTA. It was difficult, I won't deny that! Yet, we survived and our marriage is definitely stronger now than it was prior to my diagnosis. I don't think any of the Sistas thinks that every couple is called to having bunches of children. I don't think any of the Sistas thinks that practicing NFP to TTA should be avoided at all costs. On the contrary, most of the Sistas have used NFP successfully to TTA at one point or another. Some were ambivalent (like myhusbamd and I) during their TTA cycles, so they failed to avoid (NFP didn't fail, their decision changed). If you and your husband decide that TTA is the choice you should make, feel confident that by using NFP (in any way) you are respecting God's design for marriage. Pray for peace, understanding, love, and grace from God to help you with your discernment and mostly the implementation of your NFP. Together, you, your husband, and God, can and will give you only what you can handle. Grow closer as a couple and as God's children through your journey of avoiding pregnancy. It is possible, since all things are possible with God. Just remember to keep God close to your heart and soul; He'll take care of you! Peace and prayers!