Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Still here... waiting...
Well, we didn't have to leave today. They're doing the test during my surgery instead of before. I guess that's ok. We got to spend one last day as a 'normal' family. Simon ran around & played with his toys, Rachel went from plaything to plaything, Andrew went to the garage for a little while, & I spent time w/ everyone.
Today is Ash Wednesday. I would typically be at Mass right now, but the anxiety has left me feeling like I shouldn't be far from a bathroom... In the spirit of Ash Wednesday I've been thinking... what am I? I saw a post on FaceBook that gave me this inspiration...
I am a wife to my husband.
I am a mother to my children.
I am a daughter to my parents.
I am imperfect at all these things (and others).
I am strong, but I am also weak.
I am courageous, but I am also cowardly.
I am hopeful, but I am also worried.
I am free to be all these things and more because God made me so.
All these things do not change regardless of how I feel at the moment or what surgery/disease I have. Some of these things have been enhanced by my cancer diagnosis. Some of these things are just written in my heart. I know that I owe God everything that I am and will be. He gave us His only Son to die for OUR sins - not His own. How silly is it for us to think we know better than Him the agony and trials we face? It is time for us to turn our lives over to HIM. I pray this for you and for me.