Until now I have focused primarily on my miracle journey. It has been a journal more than anything: things I'd never say out loud. Now I'm going to try to develop this blog into a breast cancer research oriented commentary. I plan to use my background to take current research and news in cancer treatment and turn it into something understandable. Please be patient, I will try to not get too nerdy! Thank you for visiting!
Friday, October 14, 2011
I've got 2 weeks left until my next step on this journey. I'm hoping & praying that this will be my last medical step on this journey. The rest of the journey (hopefully) will be one of spirit and mind. :-) Today is the day that a L O N G list of medications becomes taboo, including, but not limited to: ibuprofen, topical pain relievers (IcyHot), narcotic pain relievers, and herbal remedies. I've tried some of everything it seems, but now I have to give them all up until after my surgery.
I've been keeping myself from completely freaking out by psyching myself out about the anticipated results of this surgery. The biggest result sounds pretty vain, but in reality it may be the root of this current problem: smaller foobs. This bonus (which doesn't sound like much of a bonus if you're not a member of the big boobie club) is actually starting to make me look forward to the surgery. Since I wear about a 34DD, my clothing is sometimes stretched beyond its tolerance and/or I must buy things bigger than my frame. Neither of which is flattering. As a matter of fact, the other night I tried on a dress and commented to myself that it'll fit much better once the 'girls' are smaller.
I'm not sure what my abdomen will look like -- its hard to imagine not having the excess skin from my 2 full-term pregnancies. I've accumulated a little bit of squish in a prime location for muffin-top. However, the difficulty I have imagining the front-center squish gone is complicated by the fact that it kind of just wraps around and includes my hips. ;-) To be perfectly honest, I'm pleased with my body shape. Even considering how painful my foobs are, aesthetically they are balanced for my frame. I'm afraid that the smaller (but more real) foobs I will have after surgery will make my body unbalanced. Afterall, 38" hips need a 38" bust to be proportionate in my mind. However, I will be happy if my new foobs produce proportionate pain as my hips.
All this talk about foobs and boobs has gotten me (and my mom) to thinking... Is boob and/or boobies a vulgar term? We're torn about it. I personally use the term foob or boob instead of breast for a couple of reasons. Number one of these is that it's not so stuffy as saying "breast" all the time. I know some people aren't comfortable with either term (breast or boob -- not to mention foob), but breasts (or boobs if you prefer) are a part of our God-given anatomy. I'm as comfortable using the term boob as I am using the term butt. They're kind of on-par with one another. They are both "unmentionable" areas. There are lots of names for both -- some more vulgar than others. As younger children, most people probably giggled excessively when either the formal terms or the slang terms were used. We have gradually become accustomed to using the terms, but still on occasion we giggle at what seems like inappropriate use of the terms (at least I do).
Some of the Breast Cancer Awareness groups have used Boobies to "sell" awareness to the masses. There's the "Feel your boobies" campaign, the "I love boobies" campaign, there's even a photo of a little girl with a slogan on her shirt referring to curing breast cancer before she grows "boobs" I think. If I'm hyper-critical I can see where these campaigns can seem vulgar. However, since my children's pediatrician used the term "boobie-baby" for Simon when he was breast-feeding, I'm much more comfortable with the term than I was previously. Having children, breast-feeding, and my breast cancer have brought me to a whole new level of body-parts. At this point in my life, perhaps I'm a little free with information on a personal level, but I think it's working for me. I probably wouldn't speak to the Pope about my foobs or boobs, but I don't think I'd be comfortable talking to him about breasts period! What do you think?