Thursday, February 18, 2010

I've got to get these off my chest!

I've been thinking (thanks Martina) about the blessings God has given me through my body. I have carried 6 children, even though only 2 made it to breathe. My children are very healthy and smart. I was able to nourish one of those children strictly with my body. God has also given me the strength to carry my last babyfull-term with no real complications even through a cancer diagnosis. Even though I'm getting ready to alter my physical body, I know God knows that I've done all I can!


God has blessed me so abundantly that if I focus on the blessings only, the bumps in the road fade into nothingness. My blessings are my wonderful husband (for putting up w/ all my problems), my wonderful children (for being exactly what they are), my exceptional parents (for being the greatest parents & support group ever), my great in-laws (both sets - for their assistance when necessary/requested), my awesome friends (those I've actually met & those that are digitized), my overall good health (besides the cancer). God has given me a purpose... Its not as awesome as some people's purpose, but it is (in my mind) to be someone others can look to to see that faults and hardships don't negate strengths and prayerfulness. My purpose is not to be outstanding and a public figure, nor is it to be perceived as holy, or highly intelligent, or even highly blessed (though I feel that I am). Instead I feel that my purpose is to be extraordinary at the ordinary. In other words, I hope that when people see me they can see that even with my faults and hardships, it is possible to be cheerful, courageous, loving, pious, devoted, energetic, and down-to-earth. Sometimes I'm shocking at my openness online (I'm NEVER this long-winded or detailed in real life), but other times I make up for it by being philosophical and pondering on the abstract.


Even if you aren't happy with your body, you need to realize its all a gift from God & He has a purpose for YOU. God bless! Perhaps your body isn't your strong point, but everyone has one - its just a matter of finding it!


I think I should go to bed and count my blessings. Hopefully I'll wake up tomorrow morning pre-surgery feeling ok. Hopefully, I'll wake up post-surgery not too sore, not too shocked, and not to crazy. I pray for those who have to go through this conscious (ie Andrew & my dad waiting in the waiting area & my mom 900 miles away, etc). I know that everyone's prayers will sustain me. Thank you!

2 comments:

  1. You are VERY courageous! I'll be checking in on you! I wish I could be there to help you!
    You are NOT alone, my friend!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Julie in TX2/20/2010

    Saw a post by you on CAF. God Bless you and I will be praying for your speedy FULL recovery.

    ReplyDelete

My Chemo-Jane hair-style

My Chemo-Jane hair-style
I just had to have my mom buzz my hair because it was falling out so badly.

Pre-op wearing my hand-crocheted cap with my prayer shawl.

Pre-op wearing my hand-crocheted cap with my prayer shawl.
My loving husband is watching me distract myself with a game on his iPhone.

2 days after my BMX w/ 100ccs in the TEs

2 days after my BMX w/ 100ccs in the TEs
I even have a fashionable belt to hold up my drains.

3 weeks post-op w/ 400ccs in each TE

3 weeks post-op w/ 400ccs in each TE
The smile is fake because the TEs were irritating!