Well, it looks like surgery is in my future again. There are a few hurdles to cross first: my insurance no longer covers Dr W, so approval could be difficult; I have to decide if the risks are out-weighed by the benefits; and I need to decide to go smaller or to forgo the foobs altogether.
Dr W is writing a letter to Humana to convince them the surgery is necessary. My insurance dropped ALL U of L doctors because they objected to getting less than 1/2 the $$ their counter-parts at UK & Vanderbilt got. I don't think Humana can refuse the surgery as long as he uses the appropriate medical code due to the laws protecting cancer patients.
Dr W is not sure that the surgery will help the pain. It could, but he's never had a patient with this kind of issue. Smaller implants will weigh less, therefore maybe pull my muscles less. If we also drop the projection, the weight will be closer to my chest. That can help since it's easier to carry any weight closer to the body. Buying bras could also be much easier -- 32DD or 32E bras are really hard to find. Another surgery carries risks of infection, capsular contracture, loss of circulation, etc. Smaller implants may also not look right since my natural breast were this size, my nipples are positioned for this size breast, there will be excess skin, as I gain weight the foobs will not balance with the rest of my body.
Theoretically not having foobs at all would be the most assured solution. :-/ I'm just afraid that the lack will be bad for my psyche. I'm also afraid I'll look really weird. The way my body is designed, I think my chest is pretty concave. That concavity would create an obvious void under clothes. While I know my womanhood is not centered on my breasts, they are a normal part of feeling like a woman. The absence of any tissue on my chest would be a constant reminder of what I lost & my body's betrayal. The foobs are a constant reminder too, but at least it's only visible by me -- not the whole world. However, in some ways I am tempted to go this route because this pain is almost unbearable & it seems that no one knows what to do to fix it. There's even a chance that the absence of implants will eliminate the pain either. I'm also unsure whether it would be reversible. In other words, I'm unsure that once I eliminate the implants, but decide I cannot live that way, I can get new implants. I don't know what they would do with the excess skin (including my nipples). I have a lot of thinking, praying, & research to do.
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My Chemo-Jane hair-style
I just had to have my mom buzz my hair because it was falling out so badly.
Pre-op wearing my hand-crocheted cap with my prayer shawl.
My loving husband is watching me distract myself with a game on his iPhone.
2 days after my BMX w/ 100ccs in the TEs
I even have a fashionable belt to hold up my drains.
3 weeks post-op w/ 400ccs in each TE
The smile is fake because the TEs were irritating!
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