Sunday, January 24, 2010
Goodie, but sitll a downer...
Well, silly me... I just figured out that tomorrow is my last chemo! I've been so caught up with not feeling well, Rachel being sick (she's still sick by the way & goes for a check-up tomorrow while I'm doing my chemo), and worrying needlessly over my surgery that it slipped my mind.
Its weird to think that 6 months ago I didn't know I had cancer. Then a couple days after my birthday I was diagnosed. A few days after that we found out our new baby was going to be a girl. Sad to say, the cancer diagnosis put a significant damper on our baby news. Then within 1o days of diagnosis we were in Houston getting top-notch advice. Less than a month from diagnosis I started my first chemo treatment when I was 6 months pregnant. Fast forward 3 fairly uneventful months to Rachel's uncomplicated and much publicized arrival on Thanksgiving day (and Andrew's birthday). Now Rachel is 8 weeks old & I'm getting ready to have my final chemo and less than a month away from major surgery - bilateral mastectomy (both boobies) with reconstruction from my own tissue (belly fat). Geez, time really does fly when you're out of it!
Hopefully, 6 months from now I'll be able to look back and not remember the bad parts. I'm grateful to all of you who've read my rants and whines and still continued praying, complimenting, and above-all showing support. I couldn't be more grateful for my wonderful husband. He's been a rock - even when it seems he's sitting like a stone. I couldn't have made it this far without my awesome mom. She's been-there-done-that, yet still accepts and anticipates that things are different for me. Of course, my dad is always there too - he's taken a more backseat, but I think he's been a very strong support to Andrew even w/o them ever really talking about it. I'm also grateful for my in-laws (yes - finally someone w/ something good to say about their in-laws). They've helped with the kids and with money when its tight. They also lend a caring and kind shoulder when necessary - even when its not taken it counts.
All-in-all I think this chapter in my life is going to lead to great things. Perhaps not terribly obvious things, but if even one woman out there now knows that she can go through chemo while she's pregnant - it was worth it. If one child is saved the horror of unnecessary abortion - it was worth it. If someone is inspired to do something generous, kind, etc - it was worth it. Basically, I'm thinking the ripple effect of a no-body from KY getting cancer while pregnant, could in a very vast way affect a large number of people in a positive way. That's why I've felt called to be so exceptionally up-beat and open about the whole process. I feel that's the least I can do for God since he's given me this curse that is mine to turn into a blessing. I hope I've done what He intended.