Monday, March 8, 2010

Not dead, but not out of the woods yet

Well, I'm not dead & neither is my tissue yet. I hate to whine, but it is terribly miserable to be useless/helpless. Its bad enough I can't pick up my baby, but I can't even open the tops to my pain pills 1/2 the time... Sigh... If I ever get breast cancer again I'm going to be *REALLY* mad!

As for the tissue, it seems to be holding its own. I don't know whether no change is a good thing or not. The base area seems to be healing well w/ some nice pink new skin showing up. The other part is yellow near the base and still black on the top. The nurse I spoke to today indicated that yellow is not dead. I interpret that as there is still hope. Of course, the biggest question is whether I get an infection or not. They've got me on antibiotics and I'm using antibiotic creams on all my 'wounds' - of which there are many.

As far as the helplessness goes I'm not doing much better. I try, but it seems like I always do something I'm not supposed to be doing. However, I pulled a no-no the other day & I can't tell, but something feels different on my left side. Sigh...

Rachel is growing like a weed & Simon is learning at the speed of light. Andrew is finally back at work after being gone for 4 weeks b/c of me. Hopefully in a few months this will all feel like its worth it & it will merely be a memory. Right now its my living day & nightmare.

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My Chemo-Jane hair-style

My Chemo-Jane hair-style
I just had to have my mom buzz my hair because it was falling out so badly.

Pre-op wearing my hand-crocheted cap with my prayer shawl.

Pre-op wearing my hand-crocheted cap with my prayer shawl.
My loving husband is watching me distract myself with a game on his iPhone.

2 days after my BMX w/ 100ccs in the TEs

2 days after my BMX w/ 100ccs in the TEs
I even have a fashionable belt to hold up my drains.

3 weeks post-op w/ 400ccs in each TE

3 weeks post-op w/ 400ccs in each TE
The smile is fake because the TEs were irritating!